My Solution

I've been slipping.

I have slipped.

I've found myself rediscovering old habits, old pains, old familiar secret shames.

I don't know why, I don't know what's changed. I want to change it back so badly. My mom has returned, my support system is in place. So what is it? WHAT IS IT?

Laziness?
Complacency?
Frustration?
Boredom?
Hunger?
Psychosis?

Of course, the thing is, this is natural. This is normal. I can't expect to just make some grand turnaround in the space of a few months, and never again meet the darkness that I've become so friendly with over the course of the last few years. Did I really think the addition of a few happy pills into my daily regimen and some therapy would make me an entirely different person? Did I think I was all better?

Ludicrous.

Healing is process. Health is ongoing. Change is gradual.

Deep breaths.

I can do this.