I think I have another little quirk worked out.
I went to yoga on Friday, and yesterday. I was all set to go today, but my brain was already thinking ahead to tomorrow, and the rest of the week, and I was caught up in the idea of going every single day. And you know how I get when there's pressure...
So I thought to myself, what's a good way to stop this cycle I'm always putting myself in? How can I prevent myself from creating all this false pressure to do something I love to do anyway? With that anxiety, as we all know, comes the "should", and then I might just not.
Hmm. Maybe...I only go two days in a row at a time, for now?
It's a silly little thing, but I think it might work. Having an external limitation like that (or maybe the better word is structure) is a way of keeping a lid on that anxiety, and then I have room to get excited about yoga, and miss it. Not going today allows me to go to bed tonight anxious in a good way, happy to wake up for my one of my favorite teacher's 6 AM class tomorrow, and not feel like there's any requirement hanging over my head, inflicted by, well, me.
I'm so weird.
But hey, at least I'm learning something about myself, and actively working to heal it and move past it. That's progress, right?
I want to quote a little Baron Baptiste from "Journey Into Power" of course, from the section where he's discussing some of the common mental mistakes people make in their yoga practice. In the part where he discusses people not understanding their resistance, he says:
"Resistance can be a great teacher. It exposes your state of mind and being---your fears, attachments, and limiting beliefs. Then it's up to you to choose whether to continue protecting your existing patterns or expose them to the light."