Friday, May 31, 2013

Let's Talk Fat Talk

This article from the New York Times blog struck a chord with me this week, and since my posting has been so lackluster lately, I thought I should share my thoughts with y'all.

I know, you're just desperate to hear my thoughts.

Called "‘Fat Talk’ Compels but Carries a Cost", the post discussed the type of body-shaming, self-hating, flaw-focusing talk that most women engage in. 93%, according to the article. Obviously it goes without saying that while this kind of talk bonds friends together and gives them common ground, it's incredibly damaging and detrimental to their individual psyches.

But what came to mind as I read the article is that, amongst my group of closest friends, I don't engage in that kind of talk. I haven't been faced with it in my friendships day in and day out for the past several years, and for that I'm lucky. I guess that's why the Biff and the Buff and the lady from Spain, etc, are my gal pals. Because they aren't the sorts of people who would engage in fat talk.

But sure, I do have friends with whom this stuff does tend to happen, specifically with people who are also trying to lose weight. Unfortunately, it's just society. We can't help ourselves. But as far as my core group of besties...nope.

I do notice that, when I do engage in the "God I'm so fat 'cause I ate this, my stomach is so huge, I feel disgusting", it certainly does make me feel worse, make me feel down. At first it feels great to tear myself to pieces and focus on my flaws, beat myself up and give in to every urge to self-loathe. It's always nice to reaffirm your worst thoughts about yourself, you know? But then it wears on you, and every insult hurts a little more, and when your friends start to engage in it too, you think they're talking about you, and it's a vicious cycle.

So I'm really going to try to cut it out. Cut the fat talk out with my Weight Watchers friends, and with myself. Cut it OUT of my life. Only voice the good thoughts out loud into the world. Say nice things about myself. Tell myself I'm pretty and special.

If you put out positivity, you'll get it back, right?


  1. That's so true about the positivity. I've been trying to do this, but keep falling back into old habits. I need the positives!

  2. My closest people refuse to engage with me. No matter what I say, or how insistent I am, they always relpy with something like "hey, my dog just ate a cat turd." It makes for discussions like this "I'm fat" "my dog just ate a cat turd" "I'm fat." "The weather is amazing!" "I'm fat!" "I love yoga! What your favorite posture?" Good friends are life savers!!!!