Ultra Fat

I knew it would happen eventually.

I mean, I hoped it wouldn't. I thought, maybe, it might not. But I knew deep down it would. I would get a Fat Message. Because despite my weight loss, despite the compliments poured on me like sugar from my friends and family, I know I'm not thin or fit yet, and the pictures I've put up on OkCupid reflect that.

A message I got today read as follows:

"Y do u look ultra fat in one picture and skinny in the rest?"

Gah.

Stupid fucking assholes on dating sites, sending mean messages just for the hell of it.

I would really try hard to just write it off, if I didn't know the exact picture he was talking about, which is this one that I put up yesterday after my adventure. 

I debated putting it up. I thought about putting up the other one, which is more flattering, but this one is just a better picture over all. And whatever, horizontal stripes are just tricky, and I decided what the hell, fuck it. I like that pic, I'll use it. 

And then this fucking troll, with no pictures and a profile with one sentence about sex. A profile that was then deleted within a half an hour. TROLL. TROLL GETTING INSIDE MY HEAD. 

So I cropped the picture. I caved to the troll.

I know I look fine in that picture, I do, but it made me feel better to clear my head of the message and my own, pre-determined insecurities.

Fucking troll.