Things I think in the shower.

I'm a multi-tasker. There is very rarely a time when I am totally, 100% alone with my own thoughts---usually I'm listening to music, or watching TV, or fucking with my phone, or eavesdropping. One of the only times I'm entirely in my own head is when I'm showering. Often, I'm singing, hoping the neighbors can't hear...

But just as often, I have a very chatty inner monologue.

Welcome to my brain.

"Too hot...too cold...too hot...too cold....not just right, but I'm sucking it up because I'm late."
"I should really shave my legs, I look like a wildebeest...maybe tomorrow."
"ALL THE BODY WASH...because I'm twelve, apparently."
"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH LATHER ON MY LOOFAH?"
"Oh, duh."
"TOO HOT."
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
"I don't want to go to work."
"WHAT WAS THAT NOISE? Oh, the pipes. Not a rapist."
"Would Bentley protect me from a rapist? Unlikely."
"Belly belly belly belly."
"If I pull out any more hair I'm going to be bald."
"I wonder if the religious right will ever consider any perspective other than their own."
"I like cheese."
"IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS."
"I miss sex."
"TOO COLD."
"Ahh...just right."
"Fuck, I'm late."