Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Problem with V-Day

The problem with Valentine's Day is that some people take it so goddamn seriously. To me, it's a goofy, stupid holiday about flowers and chocolate and hearts, which are all wonderfully unobjectionable things, not an important, meaningful event that determines how happy you are with your boyfriend or how miserable you are alone. If you place too much weight on getting six dozen roses on Valentine's Day, of course you're going to be disappointed.

Granted, I'm not in a relationship. So when I say that this silly adorable day should have no impact on the state of your union, I'm speaking from a place of sanity, not from a place of fucked up brain chemistry due to pheromones and shit.

Look, yes, if there are expectations that are discussed and understood, and someone doesn't live up to their promises or actively makes you feel bad, fuck that person. And I abhor the excuse that a lot of guys (and girls too) use to try to get out of participating in festivities, that they think it's stupid and corporate and lame. You know what, it doesn't cost you anything (except money) to indulge your partner in a little Valentine's joy, you are not giving up any moral high ground or pride, so just suck it up and give them what they want. If you know a little roses and dinner will bring some joy to your lady (or gent), do it.

Do I sound like I'm contradicting myself? I don't mean to be. My feelings are simple: This holiday should be meaningless, BUT, something to enjoy if you want to, or your partner does. It shouldn't be something to fight over, or stress over. Don't put a lot of pressure on it to be special and different and EPIC, just something to treat as a light-hearted delight. Personally, were I in a relationship, I would want to celebrate on the 15th when everything is cheaper and less crowded. On the 14th, I would stay in and bang.

As a single chick, I say, what's the point of being more depressed today than any other day? To give in to the temptation of masochism? Sure, Facebook is littered with people bragging about all the gifts they're getting, all the dates they're going on, but no one is as happy as they seem and the braggiest ones are the most insecure, usually. Besides, do you really want to be one of those people who sits around today bitching about how unhappy you are? Don't you find those people annoying? Waaah, I'm so alone. Waaah, no one bought me flowers. BUY YOURSELF FLOWERS, BITCH. Buy yourself chocolates.

And if you really get down, read about the actual origins of Valentine's Day.

Look, I know it's hard to be alone. Believe me. But why is today any worse than yesterday? Or tomorrow? Stop taking this ish so seriously. Get in the spirit of it. Love yourself. Take a bubble bath or something. Masturbate. Watch your favorite movie. Go shopping. TREAT YOSELF. 

You may disagree. If you prefer to place great meaning on the day of Saint Valentine, I can't stop you. But all I can say is, you crazy. I'll be over here, stress free and chilling.

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