Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Deprivation Day Fifteen: Dark Desires and Dreams

It has been two solid weeks without my crack cocaine Diet Coke.

Look at these beautiful cans designed by Marc Jacobs. Cans I DON'T GET TO HAVE.

via Tumblr

Some days I just miss it with my whole soul. Like today. I had a piece of pizza for lunch, and you know what goes remarkably well with pizza? Yeah, Diet Coke.

My dark desires, deep inside me, singing a mournful tune...DIET COOOOOOKE.

But honestly, days have gone by where I haven't thought about it. Where I haven't craved it. I sort of regret those days. I feel as if I've forgotten an old friend, a lover. I feel such guilt. Even though I have my hands on cans of it every day, refilling the work fridge as other, luckier souls get to chug down the glorious liquid, I manage to block it out, suppress my longings. It's like there's no connection between me and my darling any more.

Which makes me think. If it has been so easy to step back from my addiction, if the hold this substance has over me is not really as strong as I always thought, then maybe this abstinence should continue. Maybe...maybe I should give up Diet Coke for life.

I'm not committing to this yet.

This is a disturbing, depressing dream of mine...a life without Diet Coke.

But, perhaps I will get there.

No comments:

Post a Comment