Tuesday, February 26, 2013

When I'm 25

As you know, last week I took myself to see Amour a few blocks from my place. I wanted to be comfy, so what did I wear?


Not yoga pants. No. I am talking full on, baggy, tugged into Uggs sweatpants paired with a sweatshirt down to my ass. It was cold, people! Not that this is really an excuse. And of course the guy who sold me popcorn was hot as shit.

My life.

I'm almost 25, people. I am, by any definition I find on the World Wide Web (and believe me, I have looked, oh I have looked), an adult. So maybe I should stop wearing pajamas in public.

Once this thought came to mind, I realized there are probably a whole mess of things I should stop doing once I hit my birthday. I mean, I'm graduating out of that coveted 18-24 demographic, moving on from my youth. I should probably abandon these childish habits.

Let us list.

When I'm 25 I will...

  • Stop wearing pajamas in public.
  • Throw out all my clothes with holes in them no matter how cute they are. (Unless it's a workout shirt, then it's okay right?)
  • Throw out all my underwear with holes, and also all my underwear that's too big but I wear it anyway 'cause I'm so full of class and ass.
  • Take better care of my skin and my teeth and my hair since I'm gonna have them till I die and I don't want them to start mutating in a zombie-like fashion.
  • Be better about plucking my eyebrows so I don't have a uni-brow when I meet my future husband/one night stand/baby daddy.
  • Put more effort into my appearance when I leave the house so I get treated better by the cops when I inevitably get arrested. 
  • Put more effort into keeping up with my long distance friendships and family relationships.
  • Keep on using my time more productively so my brain doesn't start to leak out my ears from too much TV-watching.
  • Try to stop being such a judgy bear.
  • Try to stop being such a narcissist. 
  • Try to keep my apartment in a presentable state on a day to day basis.
  • Try to keep my kitchen clean so I cook more and don't get ants GOD I HATE ANTS.
  • Just....try.

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