I'm not going to complain, or cry, or shake my fists at the sky screaming "WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!" I know why. And I know what I have to do. I just have to do it.
But you know what else I need to do?
Get a little perspective.
When I was this weight back in, oh, March of last year, I was thrilled. I felt amazing and accomplished and beautiful and bodacious. I felt centered and calm, in control, like nothing could stop me. Except, apparently, myself. But now that I'm back here again, I just feel like a big ugly fail.
And I shouldn't.
Perspective: I'm still about 30 pounds lighter than this day last year. And that's something to be proud of. I've learned a lot, and I know what I'm capable of, and I know what I want.
And fuck the scale. I'm hot no matter what.
You don't know how much I needed to read this.
ReplyDeleteI weighed in this morning and was up 7 pounds in the last month. But like you, I remember being elated last time I was at this weight.
Liz (Lizzshi from the boards)
No, you shouldn't feel like a failure. You are beautiful, creative, and have a stellar personality. Things could be worse ... At least you didn't end up with Patrick. You should see the poor girl he ended up with and how horrible he treats her sometimes with total disregard to how well she takes care of him. It's a wonder she sticks around through it and still gives him the world. You should be thankful you dodged that bullet.
ReplyDeleteStay strong and best of luck on your 2013 resolutions.
-R