(A remembered conversation with my ex, via text.)
Me: Half an hour? I need to get pretty.
Him: You're already pretty!
Me: Prettier, then.
Him: But whyyy?
Me: Because we're going out in the world and there will be people there. And there might be someone I know.
Him: No. I'm the only one that matters. You should go out without makeup, 'cause then no guys will look at you and my place in your life will be secure.