How Booze Affects Me

Everyone is affected by alcohol in different ways. (Or so I hear, anyway, I never go out and don't have friends so I wouldn't really know.)

I remember when I was young and innocent and had yet to have more than the occasional drunken night of debauchery, my sorority sister (literally, my sister who was in a sorority) told me that she stopped drinking rum because it made her cry.

I found this hilarious.

I have yet to find the alcohol that makes me cry (I am a happy drunk 99% of the time, the other 1% I'm a sleepy drunk) but in my years of booze consumption, I have found that I'm definitely affected in different ways by different drinks.

Join me on a tour. 

Vodka

Makes me think I'm dancing like a sexy stripper...but I actually look like this.

Rum

Makes me want to take off my clothes.

Gin

Makes me think I'm deep.

Tequila

Makes my ladyparts feel all warm and tingly.

Whiskey

Makes me fall in love with every man I see.

Beer

Makes me mouthy and sassy.

Cocktails

Make me overly excited about everything.

White Wine

Makes me giggly, but not drunk, and gives me a wicked hangover.

Red Wine

Makes me go to sleep.