Weekend Wrap-Up

I am so sorry for my absence these last few days. I know. You missed me awfully terribly much. I'm sorry. I missed you too. But I was off busy being a person in the world, which just happens so rarely, I had to take advantage of it.

As penance, I have so many words and pictures for you. So many.

I had a fantastic Thanksgiving, of course! Food, family, wine...what is there to complain about? I picked up pies (pecan and rhubarb) from Marie Callender's on my way from LA, and got to Santa Barbara around noon or so. Traffic was surprisingly easy, I think the holiday gods were on my side. My sister greeted me with delicious orange-cranberry mimosas, as any good sister would, then I helped my mom in the kitchen most of the afternoon. If by "helped" you mean "provided moral support and jokes while occasionally fetching something or stirring", though I did contribute by making Emily Bites' goat cheese mashed sweet potatoes. Delicious, as was the rest of our meal! Mostly I stuffed myself with stuffing, as you do. Badumdumchhh...?

We dawdled over our dinners, then decided against a movie---as food comas were certainly imminent. I come from a family of gamers...if by gamers, you mean "people who love to play card and word games and not video ones". We played Pitch and Thirteen after dinner, got a little rowdy, laughed nonstop, and poked fun at my father's frustration over losing. And I quote:

Dad: "If you hadn't played that card, I would have won!"

Sis: "If no one else had been playing, you would have won!"

Maybe you had to be there? I promise you, hilarious.

The sister left on Friday morning to head back to San Francisco, and my day was spent helping my mom decorate the house for Christmas. She goes all out with her decorations, but not in the tacky, overly thematic tradition of most Xmas decorating. There are no inflatable Santas or nativity scenes, I promise you. She has so many gorgeous holiday or winter-y things, and it was fun to find places for them all over the house....though also, a lot more work than expected! We didn't even finish half the house. We had scrumptious leftovers for dinner then decorated our (faux) Christmas tree. One of my favorite parts of the holiday season, I love looking at all the ornaments we've collected over the years and reminiscing over the where and the when and the what.Then my mom and I played Banangrams, which is a thoroughly entertaining, Scrabble-like game. I dominate. Words and I, we are very good friends...clearly.

Saturday, there was more decorating, and Mama and I went to lunch at our very favorite Mexican restaurant in Santa Barbara, Los Agaves. I love that place for two reasons: 1) Amazing food. 2) The owner is hot as hell and I like to objectify him. Then the parents and I went to see "Silver Linings Playbook" starring my girl crush/future BFF Jennifer Lawrence. It was a really wonderful movie, and I highly recommend it. Every element was stellar---writing, directing, acting. Yeah, who knew Bradley Cooper could act? I certainly didn't. It was bittersweet and sad but hilarious and heartwarming, and I want to see it again. After the movie my mom had an errand to run, and I got distracted by a shiny new store at Paseo Nuevo downtown. And everything was on sale. So I bought shit. We then went to dinner at The Brewhouse, another one of my favorite Santa Barbara spots. My mom and I did some late night decorating when we got home, then I went over to my BFF's (not Jennifer Lawrence, the real one) for a brief gossip sesh and puppy snuggle. She has a new man, so of course I wanted to hear all about that, and I had some vents to get out. Lucky me, she lives about a 3 minute drive from my parents' place! It would be extraordinarily convenient if I were to move back to SB. Food for thought.

Today began with Sunday pancakes, in the long-standing tradition of my family. Apple-pumpkin ones, made by my mama and absolutely nomtastic. (Yes, food was a big theme this weekend.) Then I had a daddy-daughter date to see "Skyfall", which was full of explosions and sexy Daniel Craig musclature and good times espionage. Enjoyable popcorn flick. And yes, I ate some popcorn, and it was GOOD. Then I just had to return to the store I discovered last night, to try on a dress I'd eyed in the window. Didn't end up buying that one, but did find a few more things...funny, just last week I was saying I wasn't going to buy myself anything until Christmas. Clearly I have problems.

Anyways, today is my parents' 34th anniversary, and I told them I wanted to make dinner for them. I tried my first recipe from Skinny Taste, chicken rollatini with prociutto and cheese, which was absolutely amazing and a big hit with all of us. I also modified one of her salad recipes, substituting baby greens for arugula and gorgonzola for bleu. Awesome! I was really happy with how dinner turned out, and I have the itch to do a little more experimental cooking. We'll see how long that lasts. I convinced the happy couple to watch "Liz & Dick" with me on Lifetime, sure it would be the most amazingly horrifying catastrophe in the history of cinema. It absolutely was, but my parents couldn't appreciate the tragic comedy, and gave up twenty minutes in. Sadness. It really was a wonderfully cheesetastic explosion of bad. You should watch it, as long as you can find the fun in it and not allow yourself to become enraged at the bastardization of Elizabeth Taylor's legacy.

I really should have driven back to LA tonight, but I would rather drink some more wine and lounge about, so that's what I shall do. I hope the sheer quantity of words I've offered you here makes up for my cruel, cruel abandonment of you. Or, you know, not?

G'night, world. 

Weekly Recap #2

BOO. My second week of recaps, and I just forgot to post. I had it written! I swear! Durrrr.

Well, this week was not great. Worse than last week, but better than I've been the last few months, so...progress? Maybe? I quit tracking about halfway through the week, that's definitely a fail and something I  need to stop doing. More than anything I need to hold myself accountable, even if it doesn't change my habits right off the bat. I'm feeling pretty down right now, but it's a new week and I can't change the past, right!?! Right.

Weekly Loss: -??  (I didn't feel like hauling my scale to Santa Barbara, and I don't want to use my parents' scale since it usually reads me a few pounds heavier I think. Plus, with this week not exactly being great...I don't really want to see the number, thankyouverymuch. Thank you. Very much.)
Total Loss: -5.2 (approx...)

Calories Burned: 0
Days Active: 0
(What the fuck, fatty? What the fuck.)

Beach Walk Beauty

Whenever I get stuck in the cycle of criticizing myself for not making more progress, or for backsliding, or for not doing the things I think I should be doing, I just need to remind myself of this: I have changed. I have come a seriously long way.

As evidenced by the fact that I went on a long beach walk yesterday with my parents, did not complain, did not try to find an excuse to avoid exercising, and did not die when we had to climb the hills back up to the house.

Success.

The day was insanely beautiful, in a very strange way. Usually Santa Barbara is wrapped in a blanket of fog in the mornings, but it burns off by the afternoon. Yesterday there was a thick layer of fog hanging just over the water all damn day. Check this out:

Thursday afternoon, playing with
 settings on my camera.

Friday afternoon, where did
the ocean go?

"Fog Rainbow"

Black Friday

Thankful Thursday Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, my beautiful readers! It's a day of ritual sacrifice. With pie.

I do love me some Turkey Day. Such a splendid way to celebrate our country's history. When we're all done apologizing to the Native Americans (for the, you know, genocide) by watching a bunch of testosterone-fueled football players run into each other, we over-indulge our appetites and taste-buds in the glorious tradition of American gluttony. Stuffing. Turkey. Gravy. Pie. 

No, but seriously folks. This is a glorious holiday. For me, it's traditionally spent with just my immediate family, the people I love most in the whole wide world. With occasional boyfriend/coworker crashers. There are always puppies running around. My mother makes the most amaaazing food. In recent years, it's been drenched in delicious wine I can't afford and gratefully drink. We laugh a lot. We frolic. We go take a walk on the beach. And initiated by my mama, every year we go around the dining room table and share what we are thankful for.

I know that I am an incredibly lucky girl, and have so much to be grateful for. Yes, I may bitch and moan a lot, but I am so thankful for all that I have, and more than anything else I am blessed to have my family. I've known my whole life that I won the universal lottery to have been born with the parents I have, and to share them with that hilarious if infuriating sister of mine. My family is a group of wonderful, ridiculous, loving, kind and wacky people, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. 

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Oh come on, you can think of something.

Other things I am thankful for:

• I have a job. Even if this job is newly infested with a new employee I want to suffocate with a pile of dirty laundry.
• I can pay my own rent. 
• I have supportive, caring, true friends --- and quality is more important than quantity. 
• I live in one of the most gorgeous cities on the planet, a place millions of people probably dream of living. There are always things to do and see and I am lucky to have the opportunity to explore them all. 
• I have my health. Of course I have my issues, but I have a working body and mind (usually) and that is something to be grateful for.
• I have the freedom and ability to make my own decisions.
• I have never been arrested for any of the illegal shit I do on a regular basis. *cough*
• I have early access to new movie releases sometimes.
• And I can fit into sample shoes when I'm shopping.
• ...I'm not totally ugly.
• They never found the body.
• Oh, and I have a fluffy nugget Tree to snuggle with always because he will never die.

Okay, well I guess I'm done.

I hope you all having a truly wonderful, warm, safe and happy holiday! 

xoxo

T

Humans of New York

Today, I'm going to share with you one of the few things that brightens my day no matter what.

"Humans of New York" is a project by photographer Brandon Stanton (who is super fucking cute, btw) that you can subscribe to via Facebook. Basically, he wanders the streets of NYC taking photographs of the city's most strange, beautiful, and colorful inhabitants. Every soul he photographs always seems to have some amazing story or beautiful wisdom to share---or sometimes just a hilarious comment or observation. His favorite subjects to photograph seem to be babies, beautiful girls and puppies (not that I'm complaining!), but in the last few weeks he's been documenting the devastation from Hurricane Sandy. In fact, he started a fundraiser through his Facebook page and has raised over $250,000. The deadline is approximately 10 hours from now, so you want to donate, go here.

Here are just a random few of my favorite images (seriously, I could just post all of them), but please oh please check out his site. I promise you won't regret it.

*"Mary is 93 years old. We spoke for less than two minutes. After I took her photo, she said: "If you force yourself to go outside, something wonderful always happens!" New life motto." 8/13/2011

*"Found these two old friends on the Upper West Side." 8/10/2011

*""I've been a widow for five years now. And I guess I'm worried that men look at me, and how I dress, and just don't 'get it.' My late husband 'got it,' of course. I'd love to meet someone, but I'm not going to change anything about myself to do it."" 7/26/12

*"In one of those moments that encapsulates an era, this Argentine man was captured by a New York photographer because his father was live-streaming his trip to Times Square." 10/9/2012

I'm a potential stalker.

Facebook can be both a glorious, useful resource, and an emotionally damaging tease.

It's glorious because it gives you the opportunity to creep on people from your past, find out what they're up to, and compare your life to theirs. It's damaging because usually your life comes up short, as most people only broadcast their best accomplishments and most flattering pics. What's that quote, "don't compare your 'behind the scenes' to someone else's 'highlight reel'"? Yeah, that's about Facebook. 

And too, FB shows you all these life alternatives. Paths you didn't take, choices you didn't make. Friends living lives that could have been yours. Couples getting engaged and shit. And you get the opportunity to become obsessed with people you don't really know.

For example: There's this boy I used to pal around with in middle school. He was an awkward child, but so was I, so you know...whatever. We were friendly through freshman year of high school, when he had a big crush on my friend and I gave him a plethora of dating advice, then once I moved away from the Bay Area we lost touch. Until the explosion of social media, of course, and then we became total FB friends. Who never talk. He lives up north still, for the record.

Also for the record: this boy has grown up to be delicious.

First of all, he has really really sexy tattoos. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a bad tattoo (except maybe, you know, being a racist?), but a good tattoo definitely bumps you up at least a point or two on the hotness scale. And he's a musician, plus he works for a big tech company, so he is both creative and able to offer me the luxurious lifestyle I desire. (Diamonds and cocaine, obviously.) Basically, this dude is totally my type, and I would very much like to orchestrate some sort of reunion with his fine ass.

But I mean, how do you even do that? Send an awkward message, "Oh hello sir, remember me? I'll be randomly in your area and I would like to meet for a drink. So I can lick your ink." I feel like that would probably work out in my favor, but maybe not in the way I'd prefer. But I guess, being direct is usually best.

I wish more guys were prone to over-sharing on Facebook like a lot of girls are. I could go visit my sister in San Francisco, stalk this dude's profile to find out where he plans to appear that evening, track his adorable face down and make out with it.

This post is really creepy, isn't it?

Oh well.

Inkspiration

NaNoWriMo Check In: Day #20, Evening

Yeah...so okay. Fine. I'll admit it, I'm not a champion this year.

I mean, I still might be. Maybe. It could happen. But it is becoming increasingly unlikely. I might, might make it to 50k words total, but I don't think there's a shot in hell I'll have 50k of fiction at the end of the month. C'est la vie.

I'm just not in love with my story. I have not found my groove, my mojo, my vibe, the flooow. It's like pulling teeth to get a single word typed out. I'm bouncing around from scene to scene, page to page, unable to find the thread of the story, unable to just go with it. I'm too self-critical as I write, which keeps me from pushing forward. I know how it feels when I'm creating something I love, and I'm just not doing that right now. Which makes it very hard to motivate myself to sit down and get some fucking words out.

Har-fucking-rumph.

At least I've been pretty verbose on this here blog. I wish gifs counted as words though, even if pictures don't. I mean, they would be worth way more than a thousand.

Fiction Word Count: 9,795
Blog Word Count: 14,363
Total: 24,158

How To Clean Your Apartment

1) Prepare for the challenge ahead. Visualize yourself cleaning like the good little housewife you aspire to be.

2) Enter your apartment, and DO NOT SIT DOWN. If you sit down, you will not be productive.

3) Sit down. Tell yourself the next time you stand up, you will start cleaning.

4) Suffer through having to pee for twenty minutes because you don't want to get up and have to start cleaning.

5) Finally go to the bathroom.

6) Figure because you're already in your bathroom, you might as well take a nice shower.

7) Stand in the shower for fifteen minutes after you've finished scrubbing and shaving, because it's sooooo warm and you don't want to clean.

8) Force yourself out of the shower and immediately get distracted by your face in the mirror, which needs close and thorough inspecting.

7) When you're done evaluating your face, put your towels and clothes in the laundry basket and celebrate your success by taking a break.

8) Set the timer on your phone for 15 minutes and swear swear swear you will start cleaning when it goes off.

9) Two hours after you got home, finally start tidying. Immediately get distracted by something to play with.

10) Give up and decide you'll just clean tomorrow.