A Daaay: Some words.

IT'S TOMORROW. And, now that I have had a few drinks, I can talk about my day.

I had a day. When I finally arrived at my parents' place to greet them with big hugs and a weary smile after two hours of traffic, I said, "Give me wine. The good stuff."

So, my poor Marilyn is still at the doctor's. I'm so sorry, Marilyn! The whole day at work (yeah, work) was spent calling the body shop checking in. "Should be ready 2-5. Call around 2." "Call around 3." "Call around 4:30." "Maaaaybe."

I don't like the unknown. In case you didn't know.

Then she wasn't even finished, and I had to drive the little tiny Fiat with no pick-up and no vroom to SB again, and everyone wanted to run me over on the freeway, and I finally go to SB and I drank all the wine and half a cocktail at the play.

Oh, right, my parents and I went to a play. We saw "The Year of Magical Thinking", a one-woman show starring Linda Purl. She was phenomenal, really, though at parts a bit scenery-chewing, but I was kind of bored by the show. One-person shows can only be so entertaining. But I imagine the book is incredible, and really, the show as great, just maybe a bit too long.

Then family bonding and chatting and catching up. All these weeks of house-sitting meant no parental time, which is unfortunate. Since, as you know, I happen to actually like my parents.

Now cozy room bed. I will sleep, and have yet another glorious SB weekend.

Sleep.

A Bitch Moment

There are rare moments in which I unleash my inner bitch on the world at large.

Tonight was one of those times.

Around 1:45 AM or so, I was outside the Old King's Road pub in SB on State Street with my friends, when a girl walked by and made a snide comment about my brand new and super cute dress that I bought to wear for a boy who didn't show up. Something along the lines of, "nice prom dress", or something. 'Cause it was all long and sexy and shit. I will show you a picture at some point.

Usually, I would ignore this. Because my dress was adorable, and fuck her, and most of the time I'm not great at the snappy comeback, nor do I want to engage with a drunk bitch.

But see.... I was drunk too.

So I was a bitch too.

"It's a maxi dress, actually, thanks..." is along the lines of what drunk-me called out spontaneously.

And she said something rude back. I don't remember. I was drunk. Something like "YEAH IT'S A PROM DRESS." Clever.

So I shouted something like, "Well, well your dress is too short, so!"

Which, a) is also not that clever b) is a little slut-shaming c) is not that nice AND d) is pretty immature. Random girls around me gasped, like it was just so ruuuude. My Biff said she was shocked I engaged with the Wasted Ass.

So, yeah, should not have stooped to her level. Drunk Bitch Taylor came out tonight.

So, yeah, I ask forgiveness not from the total asshole in the actually sort of cute minidress who totally started it, but from the gods of feminism and niceness and propriety, 'cause I shouldn't have been a drunk bitch.

A Happy List

GOD DAMN MY MOOD IS GOOD.

Yes I'm sure wine has something to do with that.

1) Catching up on all my shows. Revenge, Glee, The Vampire Diaries. Glorious, oh sweet glorious television. 

2) Online shopping with birthday money from Grandma. THANKS GRANDMA.

3) Healthy salad dinner.

4) Planning out my week.

5) WINE.

Way Too TMI Post

Please do not click through if:

a) You are squeamish.

b) You want to see me in a professional capacity, have me on a pedestal, think I'm remotely classy, mature, refined, or demure, or just don't want to know anything too personal about me and my bidness.

c) Are remotely attracted to me or ever want to fuck me.

Thanks.

In Birthday Vino Veritas

According to Facebook, the entire world is drinking beer (most of it green) to celebrate some holiday honoring St. Patrick of the Ireland Nation. It's like, a thing.

I'm apparently too classy for that shit, 'cause I just got tipsy on wine all day.

Yes, this is the culmination of my birthday celebrations. I will stop now, I swear...although my sister still hasn't given me a present. What a bitch, riiiight? JOOOOKE. Yeah, but really. Done with the birthday whoring after this, swearsies.

I may still be drunk.

PICTURES.

And some talking, also.

Yes.

We headed up to Los Olivos around 11:30. The second we rose above sea level, left Santa Barbara and headed into the mountains, the fog cleared and the sun brightened up the inside of the car, and Deuce perked his head up from the back seat.

OH YEAH WE BROUGHT THE DOG.

First we hit the Stolpman tasting room, and enjoyed salads from Panino on their outdoor patio, and also enjoyed you know...wine. Fully approved of their tasting offerings, 'cause obviously I have a very sophisticated palate and am able to differentiate between good and great wines.

Then we wandered around Los Olivos for a bit, enjoying the beautiful sunshine. Oh, it's snowing where you are? I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch. I had to take off my sweater 'cause I WAS HOT.

My mom insisted on taking me to the garden store, which was wise on her part. 'Cause it was a magical paradise and I loved it. I took a gazillion pictures, everywhere you turned was some fascinating novelty or nifty discovery, I could have spent hours there looking around.

Next we headed to the Melville winery and again lounged outside, drinking, with a view of their vineyards and shade for the sunned-out pup and myself.

Then we drove all the way to Lompoc to the "Wine Ghetto", a row of warehouses with wine production facilities. We wanted to try the Longoria tasting room, and it was definitely worth the trip...of course, once there we found out there was a tasting room in Los Olivos too. Oh well. It was nifty to see all the big barrels and shit. Mmhmm. Poor Dubsie had to stay in the car.

Then home. I drunkenly dozed on the way. Then dinner, now drinking more wine, because that's just absolutely necessary. Obviously.

And there is birthday cake.

CAKE.

A letter to my BFF.

1) I hope you are having an AMAZING time in Mexico...but that's a waste of hope. cause you're in Mexico, so you're obviously having a fucking amazing time. Can't wait to see pics!

2) I'm a bit drunk. Went to happy hour after work and it was like FOUR HOURS LONG. Super happy.

3) Totally stealing that last line for my blog.

4) Anyway. I hate when I end up having fun when I go out when I don't want to go. It invalidates my antisocial tendencies.

5) Is it weird that I miss you even though it's perfectly normal not to see you for this long? I think knowing you are SO FAR AWAY is upsetting. COME BACK.

6) Oh, ME.

7) The first episode of the new season of "Whitney" is super funny. I don't give a shit what all the reviews say, that show is hilarious.

8) HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN!

9) Might just post this whole thing on my blog?

10) Might as well.