The Biggest Winner

I'm a few days behind on this, but now that I've watched all the rapes I caught up on the last few episodes of this season of The Biggest Loser.

AND MY FAVORITE WON!!!

Yayyyy Danni!!!

I found her so sweet and relatable, she worked so hard and had such a great attitude, and she looked flipping INCREDIBLE at the finale. (If you forgive her unfortunate styling, which I have to blame on the show because the female finalists usually look kinda trashy awful.)

Congrats, Danni!

Trae Patton/NBC Via LATimes.com

Transformation Tuesday

You big fat loser.

Yes, it is exploitative, and dangerous, and unrealistic, and perhaps even irresponsible. But damn it, "The Biggest Loser" sure is entertaining.

The new season premiered this week and I watched the first two episodes immediately, way more excited over a fat-people competition show than any person should be. But I'll just admit it: I really do find the show so inspiring. Last year, I discovered a bunch of seasons of TBL on Hulu Plus, and marathoned that shit all of November and December. I really think that was the catalyst for me finally being able to commit to Weight Watchers so wholeheartedly at the beginning of 2012.

I'm optimistic about the cast this season, they all seem pretty likeable and I love the addition of focusing on childhood health. Last year featured such unrelatable, miserable, whiny people, I hope this year is much better. Nothing much changes about the format of the show year to year, season to season, but it doesn't really need to. The formula of the show is simple and effective, and I can't tear myself away. Plus: Jillian Michaels is back! Raging bitch, but I love her.

I definitely understand why the show is so wildly successful and why people like me find it so inspiring. It's comforting to see people on screen dealing with the same problems you are (on a much grander scale, of course), and being witness to their success, however unrealistic it may be, gives you that necessary inspiration. "That could be me!" Plus, the producers do a great job of creating drama with all the competitions and weigh ins, you'd be surprised how captivated one can be by someone stepping on a cale.

Yes, the show has its issues. Taunting the contestants with food, teasing them with the promise of phone calls home if they pig out, brutal workouts that just can't be healthy. But you know...it's reality TV. What can you really expect? At least they seem to take all the necessary precautions so no one, you know, dies. And no one is eating roaches.

This week's episodes featured two moments that really spoke to me. The first was when one of the male contestants (can't remember his name, he was the one who will definitely be a hottie when he loses some weight) was talking about how he was never really good at anything as a kid, and he began using being fat as an excuse not to try anything new. I really related to this, I've always said I was born without any real talents, and I know I used my weight as a safety blanket. It kind of made me cry a bit.

Another moment I loved came from Ms. Jillian, when she was working with a crying, whiny woman. She said:

"It's gotta be for you, it's got to be because the desire to change is outweighing the pain and the fear. You just have to dig deep and make a choice."

I do love her tough-love inspiration, and I do love this show. 

No-Scale September Shred Challenge

Standard Weight Watchers protocol is to weigh yourself just once a week, same time same place. It keeps you from obsessing, it teaches you to disassociate your good habits from a number on a scale, it shows your overall progress without room for flukes and fluctuations. So once a week, you step on your scale and log that number, and you're done.

Well, I don't do that.

I'm a daily weigher. More than that, I'm a multiple-times-daily weigher. Pretty much whenever I go into my bathroom, I step on my scale. (Taylor brand. It seemed apropos.) I like seeing how different things like exercise or food affect the number, I like when my lighter morning weight becomes my evening weight, I like seeing the overall downward trends and how sushi makes me temporarily fat. (It's the sodium, yo.) I like keeping myself on track by reminding myself of where I'm at. Also, I just like confirmation of the number. The more times I see it, the more real it is.

I used to have a very bad scale problem. My emotional well-being was tied directly to the number on the screen, and my dieting would be completely thrown off by a random gain or unexpected loss. "Oh, I've gained weight, obviously I will always be fat so let's EAT!" or "Oh, I've lost weight, that means I can EAT!" Basically, everything was a reason to EAT.

Since starting WW again in January, I've really had a pretty good handle on my scale obsession. Fluctuations didn't bother me, I just liked keeping an eye on my daily progress. But my recent downward spiral has caused my bad habits to resurface again. I have been frustrated. The number on the scale has been taunting me.

The last few weeks, I've tried putting my scale away in my closet, intending to only pull it out on Wednesdays. That hasn't totally worked out. The scale calls to me, whispers little threats from inside the box of hats on my top shelf. "Take me out...you know you want to...WHAT IF YOU'RE FAT AGAIN!?"

So, I had a thought. Maybe I should put my scale away for a WHOLE MONTH. And see what happens.

Then, that thought grew.

I have avoid weight training or changing up my exercise in any real way because I dread the plateau. I know it's very common to see your weight increase as you start using new muscles, breaking them down, building them up. And even though I know any gains would be a result of toning, and my body would be improving, I still didn't really want to deal with it. Silly, I know. I've been planning to tackle Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, but I was petrified that it might derail my mental state. But, my mental state is already pretty derailed.

SO!

In September, my scale is going to remain locked in the trunk of my car, Marilyn the Jetta. She will guard it bravely. And every single damn day in September, I am going to do the 30 Day Shred DVD. (Okay, wait, maybe that's too lofty of a goal. I'll give myself five skip days for the month? That seems fair. Setting myself up for failure is always a bad idea.) In addition, I'll still be going to yoga at least 3x a week.

This challenge has a number of desired outcomes:

1) I'll prove I can stick with healthy habits without the positive reinforcement of weekly losses.
2) I will challenge myself to shake up my exercise routine and push my body to new limits.
3) I'll learn to gauge my progress by what I see and how I feel, not some arbitrary number.
4) My self-control will be tested in multiple ways and I'll show myself that I am stronger than my impulses.

I did today's workout already, and I'm...well, pretty unenthusiastic about this self-challenge now that it's actually begun. I've done 30 Day Shred Before, I know how it goes, and today I was just...so. Fucking. BORED. Hopefully I can come up with ways to make it exciting and fun for myself, because I will succeed!

LET'S DO IT.