I'm An Adult

Did I tell you when I went to get my blood drawn a couple of weeks ago, amidst the drama about the wrong location and whatnot, there was a cute guy in the waiting room?

Of course, he was a teenager.

Perv.

Anyway, I realized this pretty quickly, because the woman he was with was not his girlfriend, but his mother. I didn't look too closely at her at first and assumed she was the former, until she started speaking and ordering him about and chastising him in a distinctly motherly fashion.

And then he started talking about class.

Yeah.

ANYWHO. So, the nurse takes me in after him, and the door to his room isn't closed and he's lying on the floor, apparently having not taken his blood drawing too well. I follow the nurse into my room after she slides his door shut, and she asks me how old I am (I guess not having read my paperwork?), before saying, "So you don't need a parent, then?"

I assume her reference is to the scene I'd seen, which in retrospect, you know, HIPPA?

"Oh, no, haha...I wish I had my mom with me, though..." I tried to make a joke. I probably should have worn makeup or you know...fashion.

"You look a lot younger!" She said, confirming my suspicions.

The Price of Pantslessness

Did I tell you they raised my rent $20?

I'm irritated.

I mean, my studio is great. But I always pay my rent on time, and I mean like, $20 is $20, x12 is a lot of money and I still haven't gotten my goddamn raise despite the admittance of the now former interim CEO/board member that I am underpaid and awesome. So, pshhhhhhh. 

I attempted to negotiate. This was ineffective.

I want to move to get a balcony for Tree, and some tress for him to stare at, but I don't think I can do better than this and live alone. And you know I LOVE living alone, 'cause alone means no pants.

So, yeah, I guess I pay the damn raise, to wear no pants. Unless I want to respond to one of those ads on Craig's List where you get free rent to walk around in your underwear all the time. I mean, if I lost 30 more pounds and never ate cheese again, maybe I'd be there, but I really like cheese and I really like my self-respect, so I don't think we're going there.

I guess my sushi consumption will be going down. 

Tragique.

Stressin'

I leave for Santa Barbara today at 5 PM at the latest, as my parents and I are seeing a play tonight before they head out tomorrow morning and I'm dogsitting for the weekend.

My car is "maybe" going to be ready between 2 and 5 PM.

But I have to go to the rental car place, and return my car, and get back to the auto body shop, to pick up my car, once it's ready.

And get home, and load up the stuff I need for the weekend.

And aside from all that, the insurance company gave me a check up front to cover my car rental, which I'm pretty sure I've exceeded already anyway.

Because I paid for insurance, like an adult, and now that I think about it, maybe the insurance company doesn't cover paying for insurance? I BET THEY DON'T. I AM SO STUPID.

WHAT IF MY CAR ISN'T READY? WHAT IF I HAVE TO KEEP PAYING FOR THIS STUPID RENTAL CAR AND CHASE THIS COMPANY DOWN FOR MORE MONEY?

Stressin'.

When I'm 25

As you know, last week I took myself to see Amour a few blocks from my place. I wanted to be comfy, so what did I wear?

Pajamas.

Not yoga pants. No. I am talking full on, baggy, tugged into Uggs sweatpants paired with a sweatshirt down to my ass. It was cold, people! Not that this is really an excuse. And of course the guy who sold me popcorn was hot as shit.

My life.

I'm almost 25, people. I am, by any definition I find on the World Wide Web (and believe me, I have looked, oh I have looked), an adult. So maybe I should stop wearing pajamas in public.

Once this thought came to mind, I realized there are probably a whole mess of things I should stop doing once I hit my birthday. I mean, I'm graduating out of that coveted 18-24 demographic, moving on from my youth. I should probably abandon these childish habits.

Let us list.

When I'm 25 I will...

• Stop wearing pajamas in public.
• Throw out all my clothes with holes in them no matter how cute they are. (Unless it's a workout shirt, then it's okay right?)
• Throw out all my underwear with holes, and also all my underwear that's too big but I wear it anyway 'cause I'm so full of class and ass.
• Take better care of my skin and my teeth and my hair since I'm gonna have them till I die and I don't want them to start mutating in a zombie-like fashion.
• Be better about plucking my eyebrows so I don't have a uni-brow when I meet my future husband/one night stand/baby daddy.
• Put more effort into my appearance when I leave the house so I get treated better by the cops when I inevitably get arrested. 
• Put more effort into keeping up with my long distance friendships and family relationships.
• Keep on using my time more productively so my brain doesn't start to leak out my ears from too much TV-watching.
• Try to stop being such a judgy bear.
• Try to stop being such a narcissist. 
• Try to keep my apartment in a presentable state on a day to day basis.
• Try to keep my kitchen clean so I cook more and don't get ants GOD I HATE ANTS.
• Just....try.