It's October 3rd.

Alaska Adventures, Part Two

Juneau, AK

Skagway, AK

Hubbard Glacier

Goodbye, Radiance!

6:30 AM

#onatrain

Anchorage, AK

Two Scenes From A Boat

(The second night of the cruise was formal night, and I got all done up in a new dress and a pair of heels I've only worn once before. Heels that, perhaps, are a half a size too small. Annoyed with the two long hallways that separate us from our parents one floor directly above us, my tipsy sister and my equally so self sneak down the non-carpeted, metal-edged employee stairs. 

I immediately trip and slide down the half a flight on one shin, then pop back up immediately.)

Me: I'm good!

(Run down the hall to my parents room and knock on the door to find my dad.)

Me: Things you shouldn't do! Be a criminal, drunk, use the employee stairs, and fall down. (sticks out leg and shows off bloody, already bruising shin.)

(Funny, that door was closed the rest of the trip...think someone saw me on the security cameras?)



(Almost every night...no, I'm going to go ahead and go with every night on the boat, my family of four congregated in the Champagne Bar in the Centrum of our Royal Caribbean cruise ship, the Radiance, to drink. And play cards. And drink. And gaze at the beautiful mountains passing by, and laugh, and wait for our dinner time. 99% of the time, we had the same awesome Eastern European waiter, Adam. After a few nights on the trip he warms up to us and begins to joke and laugh with us, and this is one of the last nights of the cruise. 

To set the scene, my parents and I are lounging on the couches and chairs near the bar. My sister gets up to order drinks for her and me.)

K: Can I get two extra dirty martinis, with extra olives?

Adam: Two extra dirty martinis, yes. Can I ask you a question?

K: Yes...?

Adam: Extra dirty like my mind?

(We all crack up, my mother showing mock offense and horror. Later, Adam brings out our martinis, crammed with as many olives as he can fit on a stir stick.)

Mom: I thought they asked for extra olives? 

(He goes behind the counter and lifts a giant jar of olives onto the counter.)

Adam: Just in case you need more!

Assorted thoughts of the day.

• I forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Whoops.

• When I arrived at work yesterday, something was amiss. I felt off balance. It took me a few minutes to realize that all the trees across the street had been cut down, totally changing my view and the light coming in through the front door. THINGS FEEL SO VERY WEIRD.
• Hung out with MI last night, and he leaves in a week. I ain't sad about it. We've (or at least, I've) really enjoyed our time together and I'm totally digging my new casual dating attitude. It's so fucking FUN. 

• I had cake today.
• Amongst other things.
• I feel fat.

• I have plans tonight to hang out with one of the yoga girls and study. Yay for making new friends!
• In fact, I'm busy every night this week. Yay for having a life!
• I didn't go to yoga yesterday, but I went today, so that's 6 out of the last 7 days! GO ME!
• SO MANY !!!!

• And...no more thoughts.

Yoga Date

My previously mentioned work crush accompanied me to a yoga sculpt class this morning.

Hot. Sweaty. Muscles.

*swoon*

Of course, I didn't really think this plan through when I invited him to meet me there.

I'm so attractive.

Beeslut

I'm a motherfuckin' dating MACHINE.

Met me a new boy last night for sushi dinner. Delicious. The sushi, not the boy. I didn't taste him.

Awkward.

Let's start over.

I'm a motherfuckin' dating MACHINE! I saw Mr. Improviser (MI) on Sunday and Monday, then this new guy yesterday. I am such the busy little bee. A slutbee. Bee for boys. BEES!

I'm on a dating high.

*deep breaths*

See, I haven't told you the deal with MI, I don't think. He's part of a traveling improv team who tour colleges (hence the new nickname), and they're actually based out of Chicago. He's from LA and technically lives here, but during the touring season he's you know...in Chicago, or living on a bus. On our first date I apparently misunderstood him when he said how long he was in town for, because it turns out he leaves soon. Like, August 5th soon.

No wonder he's wanted to see me so much.

I quite honestly am not bummed about this. I've enjoyed spending time with him, and will continue to see him till he leaves if he's so inclined, but in the week we've been seeing each other I haven't developed any real feelings or precursor to feelings. I just...like him. He's nice. But I'm not invested and I'm not attached, so it's probably for the best that he leaves sooner rather than later to go make people laugh, and I can move onto shiny new bees.

Am I the bee, or are they? I really don't know where I've gone with this joke.

SO ANYWAY. New guy seems sweet. He's the first one I've met off of Match.com, so basically my mother bought him for me. He has a real job, none of this Hollywood crap. He's not really my "type", if I even have a type, but you know, nice and employed is a good type, so let's go with that. He already asked me to see a movie with him this weekend, so he earns points for being forward.

Let's hope this bee doesn't sting.

Sweet, Glorious Sleep

I haven't been sleeping in lately.

My body, no matter the day or how late I was up the night before, has been waking me up pretty early. But this morning, this beautiful, glorious morning, I slept in until eleven, without even trying. Even though I went to bed before 10.

I feel renewed.

Namaste Y'all

Belly No Belly

I noticed something this morning.

I got out of the shower, and stood in my ladythings in front of my closet, contemplating the contents. I glanced to the side. And what I saw kind of surprised me.

My belly? Is less bellyriffic. 

I mean, it's still there, obviously. But it's just less...protruding? Like, where it used to be fully rounded in a near pregnant-tummy shape, it's starting to...flatten? Maybe?

This could be due to the lack of carbs.

I stared for a while. Sucked in, pushed out. 

Then I shook it around a bit.

I got dressed, and marveled at how slimming the outfit I chose is. I let my ego fluff up a bit. I strutted into the office this morning, and almost immediately got a comment from my Silver Fox coworker that I'm looking great.

Go me. 

I mean, I won't be winning Miss California or anything. But progress is progress. And we're saying bye to the belly. 

The Lazy Life

I have a confession.

For awhile, a long while, months while, I've been basically living in bed. Like, I get home from work, and I go straight to the comfort of my pillows. I watch TV from bed, I write from bed, I eat in bed...I'm there for hours every night, all day on weekends.

It's kind of awful.

No wonder I feel like such a lazy cow. Could it be because I am a lazy cow?

So I made a commitment to myself yesterday to stay out of my bed, for a number of reasons. It'll help me sleep better. It'll help me be more productive. And it'll certainly help me feel less like a sloth.

This weekend while I was making my quiche, I sat down at my kitchen table while it was baking and noticed that I actually have a very nice view there. So last night, I sat there, and I wrote. 

It was lovely.

Then I moved to my couch.

I did some dishes. Put away laundry.

Then to bed.

PROGRESS.

You Got Served

A friend from San Diego asked if I wanted to make $30 and serve some legal papers today. You know me, I'm always up to make drug money, so I said sure!

Then I got paranoid that these were like, surrious papers, divorce or something, and I was gonna get yelled at and have them thrown in my face and called a stupid bitch or something.

That didn't happen.

It was kind of boring. Took an hour. But I made $30! Thanks, friend!

The Banana Debate, Part Two

You know, people are still debating this banana thing.

To all the banana peelers on both sides of the fight, I say... can't we all just get along? Can't we all just love each other, and our bananas?