Oh, October Links

15 Perfect Cover Songs To Get You Through Your Day

Oh my god this is AMAZING. I used to love this song as a kid and this cover is phenomenal.

The Best and Worst Red Carpet Looks at the Emmys — According to a 7-Year-Old

Bahahaha. "She looks like a spider wearing her underwear."

8 Disney Princesses As Fierce Vintage Tattooed Pin-Ups

Love this.

What Paris Hilton Says About Our Culture Of Slut-Shaming

This was fascinating. You should read it.

A Nightly Dinner Out That’s Like Therapy

This was also fascinating in a very different way. READ.

20 Reasons Yummy Breakfast Is The Cat Even Cat Haters Will Love

#*($&@#@*(&!!!!

Yogurt the Pirate Dog

@#(*$^#(@^*$(*#@&$^~!!!!!!!!

"You're far from plastic..."

When I first heard this song, I was very, very bothered.

I mean...it's sexist, right? The title says it all.

But there ARE no "blurred lines". NO MEANS NO. "I know you want it?" No. You don't know anything unless she TELLS you she wants it, Robin. Come on now, you're an educated gentleman. "Tried to domesticate you, but you're an animal?" I don't even know how I feel about that.

But...god damn it. This song is so fucking catchy. And I really love the video.

Slightly NSFW.

A Response To Steubenville

As a follow up to the Steubenville mess...

The Steubenville Mess

Warning: This post is disturbing as fuck.

I've been wanting to write about this for a few days, but I've been so full of rage and feelings that it would have come out something like this:

LOUD NOISES WHAT THE FUCK RAPE CULTURE HATE HATE HATE GOD DAMN IGNORANT SPORTS WORSHIPPING SEXIST FUCKHEADS I HATE HUMANITY #@$*(#&(*$&#@*(RY(W*HF*(#HR(* SMAAAAASH CANNOT BREATH. 

I'm a little more contained today.

We'll start with a little background, in case you haven't heard of the Steubenville rape case. Back in August of 2011, a sixteen year old girl went to a party in Ohio with a bunch of football players. She got drunk, as teenagers occasionally do. Through the wonders of Twitter and Facebook, it known without a doubt that she was horrifically raped and abused by a group of boys who dubbed themselves "The Rape Crew". They assaulted her while she was unconscious and unable to give consent. There are pictures. They urinated on her, and after they dragged her passed out body from party to party, doing whatever they wanted with her, they dumped her on her front lawn and drove away, with zero concern for whether or not she lived or died.

If you want to throw up in your mouth, watch this video taken the night of the attack. (Not OF the attack, of some drunken piece of trash talking about it.)

In a perfect world, there would be very little story here. The perpetrators would be arrested and punished, and the victim would find support and love in her community. But of 'course, this is 'MERIKA, and we love our football players, and boys will be boys and we ALWAYS blame the drunk sluts, and we don't REALLY know what happened, especially when there's familial ties to the district attorneys' office, and the whole thing turned into a nationwide clusterfuck when Anonymous got involved.

So, yes. Awful. So awful.

The two accused rapists went to trial in juvenile court last week, and were found delinquent, Ohio-speak for guilty. Juvie, sex offender registry, maybe not enough punishment, maybe too much, depending on who you ask.

See, like I said, in a perfect world the victim would be treated with respect and support and the rapists would be treated with condemnation and judgment.

But this world, it ain't perfect.

Via Facebook

Yeah. YEAH. Not only that, multiple networks aired the name of the rape victim. THE TEENAGE VICTIM.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!

Oh, and yeah. Two teenage girls were charged with threatening the life of the victim through Facebook and Twitter. Because, obviously. That makes perfect sense. 

And, you know, this. If you really, really want to lose your faith in humanity. 

It makes me want to cry. 

I wish I had a brilliant perspective to add to the discussion, some insight or wisdom, but I have nothing but sad faces and rage. There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said already by someone smarter than me, so I just have a few links for you, and then I need a hug. 

This article is awesome, and something I've never even considered. A plea to stop using the "it could be your wife, mother, sister!" argument when discussing rape.

"Saying these things is not helpful; in fact, it’s not even helping to humanize the victim. What you are actually doing is perpetuating rape culture by advancing the idea that a woman is only valuable in so much as she is loved or valued by a man.

The Steubenville rape victim was certainly someone’s daughter. She may have been someone’s sister. Someday she might even be someone’s wife. But these are not the reasons why raping her was wrong. This rape, and any rape, was wrong because women are people. Women are people, rape is wrong, and no one should ever be raped. End of story. "

A Letter To My Sons About Stopping Rape is absolutely worth a read. 

Also, Steubenville rape case highlights the importance of women’s equality by Henry Rollins. Go. Read. 

And just a tiny bit of funny: This Two-Year-Old Onion Story Perfectly Predicted CNN’s Shocking Steubenville Rape Trial Coverage.

Friday Links For Some Thinks

Seth MacFarlane Isn't The Problem

A different perspective, and one I think has some merit. Not sure if I totally agree. Any thoughts?

We Found Our Son In The Subway

Oh my gosh, this is so wonderful. Tears. My heart. OH THE WORLD.

#FollowMeTo: Murad Osmann, Russian Photographer, Travels The World With Girlfriend In Striking Instagram Photo Series

These are really neat.

Jennifer Lawrence fired up and chilled out

Hanging out in Hawaii, just veggin' out. I knew we were destined to be BFFs.

And, if you're enjoying a smoke like J.Law here, and maybe someone else I know, this will be doubly funny.

A Final Dose of Oscar Linkage

Okay, after this, I swear I'm done.

Maybe.

First, see my Jennifer get swarmed by her family after winning. So cute!

Now let's deal with some of the darker Oscar links.

Seth MacFarlane And The Oscars' Hostile, Ugly, Sexist Night

9 Sexist Things That Happened At The Oscars

Sexism Fatigue: When Seth MacFarlane Is A Complete Ass and You Don't Even Notice

Very interesting. I'm not sure I thoroughly agree with all the backlash but I do understand it. I definitely had my moments of "oh come ON!" during the broadcast, but knowing MacFarlane's humor I honestly expected it to be worse. One thing I didn't pick up on that someone pointed out to me was the fact that a lot of the scenes in the movies listed in the "We Saw Your Boobs" songs were, you know rape scenes. OH DEAR. 'Cause, yeah, let's totally point out how we saw dem famous actresses' tittays while they were being violated on screen 'cause that's hilaaaarious. Sigh. I mean, yes some of his schtick is satire, but it's such a fine line and when so much of your humor is anti-woman...yeah. I dunno. And yes, I feel dirty, dirty shame over finding him attractive, still. SHAME.

Quvenzhané Wallis, the C Word, and Our Loss of Innocence

The Only Oscar Gif You Need Starring Quvenzhané Wallis

This whole thing, just...ugh. She's NINE YEARS OLD, people. Do you remember what you were like when you were nine? Q has an amazing personality, tons of spunk and wit and charm, confidence and charisma and talent in spades, and people are trying to bring her down. I get the satirical intent by the Onion, but of course they took it way too far, because she's NINE. But what makes me sad is that there are plenty of people out there who would have made that comment without a trace of sarcasm. People are seriously chastising her for "showing her guns" when she was announced as a nominee when that was FROM THE FREAKING MOVIE, because people are awful. Look at the comments on that second link. UGH.

To end this on a brighter note, check out GoFugYourself and Tom and Lorenzo for some fashion commentary.

And let's watch Jennifer win and be adorable and gracious and charming and try to forget how people suck.

Think Link

What 200 Calories Looks Like In Different Foods

Food for thought...literally.

Crazy Portraits of People Being Blown by a Leaf Blower

This is super cool and also kind of terrifying? Looking at it gives me anxiety. But neat. I don't know how to feel.

Top 5 Regrets People Have At the End of Their Lives

This is lovely. I will take #2 to heart and continue my life of working not very hard at all.

Does Taylor Swift Hate Other Women?

My answer to this question was "yes" before even reading this article.

101 Year Old Man Runs Marathon For Women's Rights

THIS IS SO AMAZING I DON'T EVEN.

28 Things That Will Change The Way You See The World

Buzzfeed, why you gotta have so much awesome shit?

Assorted Links Of The Weekend

...without commentary 'cause I'm lazy.

Pablo Neruda's Body To Be Exhumed In Murder Investigation

How Did Susan Miller Become The Go-To Astrologer For The New York Fashion Set?

If You Don't Want Girls Judged By Their Hemlines, Stop Judging Them By Their Hemlines

Blonde Self Tanning Essex Teen Girl Has Higher IQ Than Einstein And It Sucks That Everybody's So Surprised

Stunning, Rare Photos of the Women Workers of WWII

Rinky Dink Links

I've just been link CRAY CRAY this past week. You're welcome.

A little feminism, a little hilarity.

Let's go.


The Balancing Act Of Being Female; Or, Why We Have So Many Clothes

Short and sweet, but definitely thought provoking.

The Bell Jar Gets A Hideous Makeover

Oh, yes. Sure. Because that book is totally about how to put on lipstick in a compact mirror. Mmhmm. Not about depression or women's rights at ALL.

GOP Lawmaker Wants To Charge Rape Victims Who Have Abortions with 'Evidence Tampering'

RAGERAGEQ#)(UR@#)(%)(GRH)(*$H)(FU@#)~*!!!!!! Let's move on to the funnies...

Embarrassing Couple Autocorrects

Heh. Just...heh.

Even More First World Problems

Lulz. I do enjoy the FWPs. My life is full of them. Like my leggings are somehow both too big and too small, so they keep sliding down my hips, but pinching my fat. It's awful.

And via the ever hilarious George Takei on Facebook...

Chivalry died today.

Okay, I accept my role in this office. I am the bitch. I am the low man on the totem pole. I do what I'm told and crawl around on the floor and clean up people's shit. That's fine, whatever.

I also accept that my job this week involves nothing but organizing, tidying, cleaning, and dropping things on my feet. Sure, this is fine too. But if I am dragging a big piece of furniture across the floor, and you happen to walk right in front of me, and you have a penis, and arm muscles, you could like...help? Maybe? Is that not allowed? Because you make more money than me, and you use your brain for your job (supposedly), you don't even feel a twinge of guilt when you fucking walk around me? Seriously? That's where we're at right now? There's no chivalry in the walls of an office? Gotcha.

Believe me, I am a feminist. A loud and shouty one. I am perfectly capable of carrying heavy shit on my own and dragging boxes across the floor and lifting up desks. I can do all this just fine, thank you. But I do think that, if one happens to see me doing something along these lines, and one has the strength and ability to assist me and make my life a little easier without damaging one's own...one should. ONE SHOULD HELP.

My back hurts.

Fuck all y'all.

PSA (Penis Service Announcement)

I have complained to you all before about the rather pathetic emails a single girl receives whilst Internet dating. Short messages, rude messages, indecipherable messages, confusing messages. I have yet to receive an unsolicited dick pic but I'm sure one is on its way (fingers crossed). It's pretty easy to dig through my inbox most of the time, the vast majority of emails I get are automatic "no thank you please delete after copying for future blog mocking of course".

Now, it's time I discuss something far more sinister. Are you comfortable? Anyone need a bathroom break? Snack?

Okay.

Sometimes a guy sends you a nice long missive, and it starts off great. They reference something specific in your profile, they use the right "your", they resist the urge to use too much of this!!!! You click over to their page before finishing the message and find them to be cute, and employed, with a reasonably high match percentage. No red flags yet. You go back to the email, finish reading, and find yourself stuck on a line like this:

"You sound like a really cool gal (one that actually happens to BE funny, which is rare among females these days)"

I.....

Er....

Okay, you know what's NOT sexy, dudes? SEXISM!

"BUT WAIT!" You insist. "That's not sexist! Stop getting your panties in a twist, you feminist bitch! Learn to take a damn compliment!"

No.

It is not a compliment to insult the entirety of the female tribe in attempts to boost one of them up. I don't know who's been spreading this rumor, but it is a big fat lie. And I know fat. (The only compliment along these lines that is acceptable to me is "You're not like most girls", and only in very specific situations, and only if the implication is not "OTHER GIRLS SUCK".) It's like declaring "you're kind of good looking, for an ITALIAN", or "you're actually not that stupid considering you're from NEW JERSEY".

"Women, they're just so dumb, with their aprons and their ovaries, and they're really not funny, 'cause they don't have brains. But YOU. You are special. IT'S LIKE YOU ARE TOO AWESOME TO BE FEMALE. BECAUSE LADIES SUCK."

Maybe this is an attempt at "negging", one of the ever-so-brilliant pick-up tactics described in Neil Strauss's "The Game". If you give a girl a bit of a back-handed compliment, she instinctively craves your approval and will suck your dick. Or something. I think that's the general premise. Basically, we're all such fragile, insecure little flowers, we're easily manipulated by the judgy opinions of a random dude in a bar. Or on the Internet. Insult us and we are yours. 

Now, I'm not assuming that all the guys who thoughtlessly toss comments around like this one are total, blatant misogynists. They're merely subtle misogynists. They're probably the kind of guys who say they're "nice guys" who can't catch a break and complain about "the friend zone". Their misogyny is ingrained, built into the framework of their very beings, a natural result of their born privilege and they probably don't even realize it's there. I'm sure these guys are really polite to all their girlfriends and their grandmas and whatnot, and maybe they even consider themselves feminists.

But you know what? They're not. They're not, because they classify the females as one entity, ascribe a stereotypical identity to it, and if you demonstrate any positive characteristic that falls outside of the bell curve of what "most girls" are like according to these tiny little pea brains, then you are SPECIAL.You are like a MAN practically. And you should feel so flattered that you've been chosen to be removed from the box of vagina-having. "Thank you so much for declaring me better than a woman."

And you can't be more than one positive thing, you know. If you're pretty, you're not smart. And if you're smart, you're probably fat. And if you're talented, you're probably a bitch, and regardless of any other facets of your personality, if you're a lady, you're definitely not funny. 

Funny is for men.

Tragically, one of my lovers, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, made this mistake a few months ago and got called out on it, as well he should have. His comment killed my buzz for him, just a little bit. It doesn't matter how fucking hot and talented and adorably nerdy you are, sexism is not sexy.

So here's your PSA, guys:

Check yoselves, before you wreck yoselves.

SHOUTY FEMINIST HIPPIE

For the most part, I have kept it pretty light on this blog. Or, the less light stuff, comes from my own pathetic emotional fuckery. I figure, there are dozens of people better qualified than myself out there on the Internet, writing about all the important shit, so I'll just talk about kitties and shoes and pretty boys.

But in the last week or so, I have been overwhelmed with so many stories from the news that literally make me sick to my stomach.

A candidate for Senate spouting bullshit theories about legitimate rape and pregnancy, then insisting he was just misunderstood. A teenager sexually assaulted then publicly blamed for ruining her attacker's life. Paul Ryan's very existence.

But it's not just the US---in the Dominican Republic, a sixteen year old girl discovered she had leukemia while she was nine weeks pregnant. The chemotherapy she needed would kill the fetus, however, violating the country's anti-abortion law---so she was denied treatment for 20 days before the courts made up their minds. And then she died.

What is WRONG with this world!?!?

I just I can't even start. The SEXISM. The VICTIM-BLAMING. THE STUPIDITY. I just try to form a good logical response and I can't...LOUD NOISES.

You're telling me my body is SO DAMN ADVANCED that I can physically SHOOT RAPIST SPERM away from my eggs? And if I get pregnant, that's MY OWN DAMN FAULT. I gotta birth that damn baby, oh and also, you probably won't have programs to help me raise it. OH, AND ALSO MY FAULT? Getting RAPED. 'Cause I was just drunk and slutty, and you know, FEMALE, and maybe I should keep my mouth shut so I don't make my poor attackers FACE ANY PUNISHMENT? 'Cause you know, boys will be boys and all. Not like they should be held ACCOUNTABLE OR ANYTHING. I SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING A VAGINA.

OH AND ALSO. MAYBE A FERTILIZED EGG IS LESS OF A PERSON THAN A FULLY FORMED TEENAGER? MAYBE?

I JUST CAN'T RESIST CAPS.

FLAMES. ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE.

I wouldn't say that I'm incredibly well educated when it comes to politics. Fiscal issues, debt ceiling, tax rates, blahdiddlyblah. The only issues I tend to debate and focus on are social ones. Gay marriage. Birth control. What the hell I'm allowed to do with my own vagina. Etc. You know, relevant stuff.

I'm going to make a pretty controversial statement here:

 At this point, I honestly do not understand a moral defense for voting Republican in the upcoming election. I cannot speak to every individual candidate or supporter, but the party as a whole has tied itself to so much sexism, racism, and general bigotry that I cannot comprehend a reason you would want them in power. Is your money really more important to you than the rights of your fellow citizens? And if you're voting with your hateful social and religious beliefs in mind, do you understand the concept of separation of church and state? Do you realize the general platform of oppression championed by your party is designed to drag me by my hair, kicking and screaming, back into the 1950s?

It makes me sad that elephants, my favorite animal, have been appropriated by this tragic, antiquated party.

Okay, deep breaths.

I think I'm done.

For now.

EDITED TO ADD:

Well, I just found this article, which basically is my point exactly, except WAY BETTER WRITTEN.