Saturday, April 6, 2013

Ways in which I am ridiculous.

A totally non-comprehensive list.

  • I talk to my cat. All day. In a variety of odd voices, about everything.
  • I also talk to the dog like he can understand me. "Your ball is to the LEFT!" "Can you please go to the bathroom? I need to get to work, and you're seriously pissing me off."
  • I have anxiety about closing tabs on my browser, resulting in having an insane number of tabs open at once.
  • I bought a new dress specifically because I'm seeing a boy I made out with in high school tonight. Obviously nothing I had was good enough. (If he doesn't make it out to the bar, does he owe me $20?)
  • I'm still a child at heart in most ways, like I don't just get off my bed to pick things up, I lean over while reeeeaching and almost fall off while making really odd noises.
  • I thought about trying on my skinniest minniest jeans last week, but you don't lose magic weight just 'cause you worked out three days in a row.
  • When I rap, I am super intense about it. I have swag.
  • I think if I suck in when I'm driving in narrow lanes it makes my car smaller.
  • Sometimes I catch myself singing the same song in my head for five minutes and I realize I could just, you know...listen to it.
  • I counted the number of elephants and Eiffel Towers in my apartment, and both exceed a reasonable number. Maybe I should get a new collectible.

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