Ways in which I am ridiculous.

A totally non-comprehensive list.

• I talk to my cat. All day. In a variety of odd voices, about everything.
• I also talk to the dog like he can understand me. "Your ball is to the LEFT!" "Can you please go to the bathroom? I need to get to work, and you're seriously pissing me off."
• I have anxiety about closing tabs on my browser, resulting in having an insane number of tabs open at once.
• I bought a new dress specifically because I'm seeing a boy I made out with in high school tonight. Obviously nothing I had was good enough. (If he doesn't make it out to the bar, does he owe me $20?)
• I'm still a child at heart in most ways, like I don't just get off my bed to pick things up, I lean over while reeeeaching and almost fall off while making really odd noises.
• I thought about trying on my skinniest minniest jeans last week, but you don't lose magic weight just 'cause you worked out three days in a row.
• When I rap, I am super intense about it. I have swag.
• I think if I suck in when I'm driving in narrow lanes it makes my car smaller.
• Sometimes I catch myself singing the same song in my head for five minutes and I realize I could just, you know...listen to it.
• I counted the number of elephants and Eiffel Towers in my apartment, and both exceed a reasonable number. Maybe I should get a new collectible.