Monday, April 22, 2013

A Wild Attack

I have an embarrassing boy story to tell.

You've been warned.

So, freshman year of college, I got invited to this party by a girl my friend and I were in The Vagina Monologues with. (Yes I stood on stage and talked about my Native American vagina, and also sold cookies with vaginas on them on the quad.) My friend wasn't explicitly invited, I was bringing her along with me, which I think provoked the following bit of venom.

"Don't go off making out with some guy and leave me alone," she said with a sneer as we walked to the apartment off campus where the part was.

For clarity, I had never done this.

So once I got drunk, I decided do.

Honestly, I had too much beer, threw myself at every guy in the party, eventually picked one that was adorable if totally unattractive in a nerdy, Irish, over-eager kind of way, tossed him against a wall, and made out with him.

Then grabbed my friend and stumbled home, in a "so there" sort of gesture.

I don't know what prompted the re-telling of this story, except maybe seeing my victim on my Facebook newsfeed, or wanting to throw a dude against a wall.

This is my story. It kind of makes me cringe, but also I'm guessing he enjoyed it, so we really have no problem here, do we?

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