Sunday, April 28, 2013

A Dog Story

I once saved a puppy from drowning in a pool.

For reals. I jumped in and saved her! I am pretty sure I was clothed at the time, but I can't promise you this. I was seven or eight. Can't remember.

Is this worthy of bragging rights? I ask for a reason.

Basically, I'm contemplating my online dating profile. The fated day approaches on the distant horizon. Is that the sort of hilarious fact one could share to entice the fellas? 

Probably not.

See, I could use the same profile I had last time, and clean up with the messages quite well I'm sure. It worked out for me in the past, got me plenty of attention. I actually got more than a few comments about my profile being "really funny, most girls aren't actually funny", which really annoys me as I know I've mentioned, but what can you do. 

But I don't really want to use the same profile because a of all, boring, and be of all, what if someone recognized it and was like, weren't you on here LAST YEAR? I mean, that would be creepy status, but whatever.

New profile, new name, fresh start, new fun facts.

I've lived in Belfast, was mugged in Paris, I'm a future sexy yoga teacher in training...

I...saved a dog from drowning?


I have to take out Bacon though. 'Cause if you Google that shit, I come right up.

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