Saturday, April 20, 2013

Things I Do That I Stole

I'm a kleptomaniac.

In my life, I've hung out with a lot of clever people. And these clever people do and say clever things. And somehow, over the course of our friendships or associations, I absorb these habits, and then I steal them. I could try to stop, but they honestly come out unconsciously, and...I don't want to.

But I figure if I confess them, it makes it less bad, right?


Things I Do That I Stole

1) My freshman college BFF (the one I am no longer friends with) used to say "a of all, blahblahblah, b of all, blahblahblah", and I totally adopted that as my own. I think it's hilarious.

2) My ex-boyfriend, the Ass, (he of the failed birthdays), used to use a certain hand signal to indicate "me too", and I have found myself doing this years after we broke up. Let me see if I can describe it accurately. If my mouth is full, or I need to be quiet for some reason, and I want to agree, I tap on my chest twice with a fist and flash two fingers like a peace sign. So gangsta, right? I kind of hate myself every time I do it, since it was his thing and it's dumb, but I do it before I even think about it.

3) A lot of my mannerisms come from my mother. My laugh, which often ends with a drawn out "aahhh". My tendency to dance. Facial expressions. It's cool, it's genetic.

4) Dress a little hippie-chic, stolen from my BFF. I crib her style, and she cribs mine. (SO GANGSTA.) I wore a shirt out a few weeks ago, and she bought it on her phone before we hit the bars. That's friendship.

5) Say "note to self: self, blahblahblah", "bitca", "troll logic" and any number of other things, all stolen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whedonslang is gold.

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