Friday, April 19, 2013

Hidden and Not-So-Hidden Talents

I'm very talented.

I'm sure you know this.

These talents include:

  • Sneezing five times in a row on a regular basis.
  • Putting both feet behind my head.
  • Rationalizing anything.
  • Making everything messy the second I walk into a room.
  • Drinking insane amounts of Diet Coke without vomiting. 
  • Collecting obscene amounts of Diet Coke cans on my bedside table with no shame.
  • Knowing exactly how much alcohol to pour into one of my water glasses and still leave enough room to add a whole can of Diet Coke and fill the thing just to the brim, no bubbles. NO BUBBLES.
  • Talking forever.
  • Writing about anything, ramble-style. I can string words together, this much is true.
  • Decorating. I get it from my mother, but I have to say, my apartment is pretty pretty.
  • Speed-cleaning.
  • Lying.
  • Rapping.
  • Pretending like I'm listening, then figuring out what was said.
  • Actually being a good listener, and giving advice.
  • Doing thoughtful things.
  • Being kind. 
  • Being a bitch.
  • Loving on my kitty.

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