OH MY GOD THE HORROR

I got back from lunchtime yoga about, oh, two hours ago. I approached my desk, juggling my purse and my lunch and a bag o' tricks, and as I tried to set down my food, I knocked over my water bottle.

And that water got very, very close to the back of my laptop. And by close, I mean like...sexual harassment distance.

AND THEN MY COMPUTER SHUT OFF AND I WAS SCARED AND IT WAS MISBEHAVING AND THEN IT WOULDN'T TURN BACK ON AND WHEN IT DID IT WOULD SHUT OFF AGAIN AND I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO TURN IT ON RIGHT RIGHT RIIIIIGHT AND THERE WASN'T EVEN THAT MUCH WATER AND I LEFT IT ALONE FOR AWHILE AND IT'S WORKING NOW BUT I REALLY NEED TO BACK MY SHIT UP TONIGHT 'CAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN REAL REAL BAD AND NOW MY WATER BOTTLE LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY DESK OKAY BREEEEATHE.

I'm sorry I say such mean things about you, my Dell. I know you're not as pretty as a Mac or as fast as a Mac or cool at all and you are kind of a big cheap brick, but you try your hardest and I really don't want you to die before I can afford a new computer.

I LOVE YOU AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN.