When I don't fight myself so goddamn hard every step of the way, life is a hell of a lot easier. Imagine that!
I first noticed this on the way to Vegas, when the Biff suggested we open up a bag of Doritos since our lunch stop was still an hour away. Instantly the voice in my head (let's call her Fat Pam) screamed, "NO NO NO YOU WILL GORGE YOURSELF ON CHIPS NO CHIPS NO NO NO NO NO!!!!" Even though I'm the one who bought the damn chips. And I said, "You shut up, Pam, I can have some chips. I can have all the chips I want. I'm not listening to you."
And I only ended up having maybe 3 or 4 before my craving was sated, and I was done.
Same thing when the Buff returned to the room with ice cream Saturday afternoon. Fat Pam instantly told me I didn't need ice cream, but I wanted a bite, god damn it, and guess what? After two, I was done. No more, that's all I needed.
It's happening with yoga, too. If I don't argue with myself all day about whether or not I'm going to class, if I let my body make my decisions and I go with what feels right, it's a lot less stressful, and I've been going really consistently. (This week exempted.)
I need to trust myself more, listen to myself more. I think there is a part of me that is growing stronger, a part that I can rely on to tell me what I need and what I don't, what is good for me and what is not. As long as I stay positive and present, and keep health in mind, I'll keep doing what's best for me.