Second Chances

I'm kind of stuck on the fact that the Neighbor Boy didn't even give me a second date.

I mean, for me, I usually give someone another shot as long as they don't a) totally offend me and b) are attractive, to me, as long as c) we had a decent time. I mean, first dates are awkward, so if there was a modicum of fun, one assumes the second date could be better. And I thought we had a good time. Ish.

So my fear, as I told y'all, is that he was totally not attracted to me. Basically, I assume he thinks I'm fat. Which, I know, is a thought from Crazytown.

'CAUSE I'M NOT FAT ANYMORE.

Much.

I know, I know. There are countless reasons why he could have been completely uninterested in me. I mean, I'm a lot to handle. My personality is on level ten. And attraction does not have to be solely dependent on weight, right? He could have hated my face. Or you know...he could have just enjoyed me, but not felt that "spark". Sometimes I don't feel the spark. I mean, I didn't feel the spark.

But I still would have gone on a second date.

Still, WHY do I care so much?

This is why dating is such a mindfuck. Rejection hurts, even when you can rationalize it all day. Even when the guy is perfectly kind and up front about it, doesn't just blow you off, gives you the courtesy of a "friendship" olive branch...it still stings to be told you're not wanted. 

But it's okay.

Bentley loves me.

And chocolate loves me.

NOT THAT I CAN EAT CHOCOLATE.

Stupid diet.