Assorted Thoughts For Your Amusement

• My parents have way nicer toilet paper than I do. So soft...
• A reader (hi reader!) thought they saw me at a Chipotle in LA the other day, and almost went up to the girl to say hi, but didn't. Which is good, because it wasn't me. I officially feel like a celebrity.
• Have I told you one of my ultimate goals in life? To have a paparazzo take a picture of me, thinking they probably should 'cause I just look SO GOOD I MUST BE FAMOUS. Yup.
• MY FUCKING PERIOD STILL HASN'T COME AND I AM A TIGHTLY WOUND BALL OF HORMONES READY TO EXPLODE AT ANY MOMENT YOU BETTA WATCH OUT. 
• SHOUTY.
• I most definitely am not carrying the son of God.
• Right?
• I cried at a really bad movie yesterday. Really bad.
• I'm mentally totally zen about not hearing from New Guy yet, except because of the GOD DAMN HORMONES I AM TOTALLY NOT ZEN.
• I frosted a bajillion cupcakes while volunteering today and didn't eat ANY.
• That's...all.