Thursday, December 6, 2012

Date Prep 101


I have a first date tonight with a THIRD ginger. Yes, I just attract them like flies. I shall call this one...Ginger Squared, or GS. (Yes, as pointed out by my BFF, technically three gingers is Ginger CUBED, but Ginger Squared sounds better, and that second one doesn't count anyway since I never actually met him.)

So, in case you weren't aware, being a girl is hard. That is, if you're the kind of girl who subscribes to patriarchal social norms, tries to fulfill unreasonable expectations of beauty and femininity, and is easily manipulated by advertising and media...which I am. I most definitely am.

And...I just like to be purty.

I'm definitely not a high maintenance girl, in my humble opinion. I often leave the house often without makeup or a shower or matching shoes, and on a normal day I usually spend 20 minutes max prettifying. Even with my current "self-esteem challenge" I'm out of bed and out the door in way, way under an hour. But you know, I shave and wax my shit. I spend excessive amounts of money on beauty products. I wear perfume. And shirts without stains.


I would say on a scale of 1-10, my normal effort expenditure to make myself pretty is maybe a 5? Perhaps a 6? I care, and I try, but...I don't try very hard.

When I am prepping for a date, however, I ratchet that shit up to 10. 11. 12. I pay more attention to my face when getting ready to meet a guy than I do any other time in my life.

Except maybe when I'm high.

Not that I've ever been high.

Moving right along...

FIRST!  One must consider the outfit.

Or maybe not.

Then, accessories.

Of course, perfume.

And then there's my luscious locks. I have a lot of hair, and I rarely blow dry it, but I will for special events because it really does look soooo much better. And I can't stop touching it.

But then, sometimes...

Of course, I have my moments of self doubt...

So then I give myself a pep talk...

And make sure everything is in place...

Then hit the road, calling my mama on the way to the bar for a final boost. 

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