Thursday, July 18, 2013

You Really Like Me!

One of my fears with online dating, and dating in general, is that I'll meet someone who's more into the idea of me than me, myself. Does that make sense? What I mean to say is that I worry about finding a guy who desperately wants to like someone, and thus likes me because I'm, you know, there and somewhat likeable, not because they feel any real feelings for me.

And I'll be perfectly honest here, I'm worried that may be happening with this new guy. He does seem to like me. But...does he really?

He came over to watch a movie last night after yoga training, so that's three dates in four days. That's a lot of face time, way more than I ever spend with a guy right off the bat. And for me, this isn't a problem, because I'm not investing any extra emotion or expectations because of some additional flirty-time, but the fact that he's so eager to see me kind of gets my spidey-sense tingling. Which, of course, is an indication of my incredibly low self-esteem and commitment issues, but regardless. It's something to think about.

And I do like to think.

I mean, usually, this dating shit is dragged out. I have time to obsess and analyze and wonder. There's a date a week, max. My suitors don't ask me out for another date while still on the current date, they don't joke about being sad I'm going out of town for the weekend, they don't talk as if future hang-outs are already a definite. They don't tell me they think I'm awesome.

All of this makes me go hmmmm, you know? Because it's just atypical. But is it atypical in a bad way? Does it indicate anything beyond this boy being sufficiently intrigued by yours truly? Is it anything to actually worry about?

This particular boy (who does need a nickname) is not as much of an online dater as I am. He's had a profile for a year, but hasn't met many ladies, and overall seems to treat the process with heavy doses of skepticism and caution. So I worry that, perhaps, he takes this whole endeavor more seriously at its roots than I do. I've always said, I don't want an "insta-relationship". Is that what he's looking for? Or am I just projecting my fears onto his perfectly normal behavior?

Maybe I really shouldn't over-think this. He's sweet, he's nice, he wants to treat me like a lady. What's the bad here? Maybe it's as simple as it seems: he likes me. He wants to spend time with me. Simple.

So for now, I will just go with it. See him when I want to see him, act how I want to act. There's no reason to play silly games or enforce arbitrary rules of behavior because I think I need to behave in a certain way. I do think it's for the best to back off just a touch, though, because three dates in four days is a lot, and Mama likes her space. No reason to rush anything, even if he is a cutie who thinks I'm awesome.

Which you know, I am.

Why wouldn't he like me?

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