I replied.
He replied.
And in his message he said:
"I like that you're not super skinny."
Okay. Let's break this down.
Obviously, he meant it as a compliment. He wasn't trying to call me a big fat fatty fat. He intended it as a positive thing. So I will not run straight to the Cheetos.
But you know...by the time a dude gets to his late twenties, shouldn't he know not to comment on a girl's body? Especially when pointing out that she's not, you know...a twig? Shouldn't a guy know that for most women, that would not be taken well? It crosses a line, right? RIGHT. So I feel like maybe he's super awkward, generally.
I talked to my Biff about it, and she said as a person who doesn't have my kind of body fixation, she wouldn't take it as an insult. Because she's not "super skinny". She's fit, she's thin, but she's not skin and bones. In her view, he probably meant that he's sick of the typical LA body type of invisible limbs and visible ribs. So she doesn't think I should take it to heart.
But you know...I just don't know. I feel like commenting on appearance in the second message, regardless of content, could be a potential red flag. Yellow flag? Like, if he's commenting on my curves straight away, maybe that's all he's looking at. MY EYES ARE UP HERE, BUDDY. AND THEY'RE BROWN.
GOD.
Men.
I should just give up.
Ugh, yeah, I'm sure he meant well, but commenting on your appearance in the second message seems to be showing his hand a little too much.
ReplyDeleteI usually get guys awkwardly trying to convey their attraction to me by saying things like, "I hate skinny girls" and "That girl needs to eat a sandwich," which also rub me the wrong way. Dude, you can compliment me without disparaging other women.
Um, yeah, I don't think that was an appropriate thing to message anyone about. First, second, whatever message. The fact he likes girls who aren't skin and bones is great and all, but not something you write. Weird.
ReplyDelete