Monday, July 8, 2013

A Wedding In Lists

Golly gee, I'm sorry for my absence the last few days. Off living life, I guess.

Or you know, I just hate you all.

One of the two.


In other news: I went to a wedding Saturday!

And things got...interesting.

Let's see, where to begin, where to begin...


But first. I don't have a style post for you yet, due to my failure to take a selfie (what?) or have someone take a picture of me. I'll (probably) gather the various items together later, 'cause I looked ADORABLE. My ego was really big, not gonna lie.

Other Reasons My Ego Was Big:

1) After the couple's first dance, the DJ requested everyone bring their "special someone" out onto the floor. My mom and dad got up, as did my sister and her boyfriend. My mama beckoned me to join them and I laughed and said, "What, am I going to dance with my booze? No, thank you." So I was sitting happily with my drink when the adorable toddler ring bearer came up to me and said, "Pretty lady, would you like to dance?" And of course I said yes. So I got the first dance of the evening with the cutest boy at the party. He did spend most of our courtship distracted by his ring pop, but that's okay. It looked delicious.

2) I ran into the friend of a friend, Besos to be specific. This particular friend, actually, male in gender, is jokingly supposed to be my future soulmate, mostly due to his love of a certain football team and my father's past affiliation with the same. Anyway, I briefly hung out and danced with him and his group, until...

3) My sister and her boyfriend re-introduced me to a boy that I, apparently, went to elementary school with, first and second grade to be specific. I recognize his name, and his face seems really familiar, but I can't say I really remember any of our interactions. He, however, claims to remember all his friends having crushes on me at age 8. Smooth compliments. We somehow ending up spending the rest of the night dancing, and talking, and drinking, and flirting...

Notable Hilarious Moments From The Wedding:

1) Said boy from elementary school looked down at my feet at one point and said, "Hey, your toenails match the color of part of the flowers on your dress." I just looked at him and said, "That was not at all intentional."

2) The best man's speech overall was hysterical, beginning with, "I was married last year on July 7th, so thank you to the parents of the bride for throwing me this awesome anniversary party, and thank you to everyone I don't know for showing up."

3) At the after-party, my sister apparently asked the bride about the guy I was spending my time with, to get her approval. The bride informed her that, well...he has a long-term girlfriend. This resulted in my sister ripping into him, with a speech along the lines of, "If you have a girlfriend, you should not be buying drinks for my little sister and flirting with her all night, and if you want to do that then maybe your girlfriend isn't the person you want to be with. Am I right?" The poor guy stood there and took it like a man, pretty much, I mean as manly as he could when it was the truth and he in fact, did have a girlfriend.

Sigh. What can you do? I am seemingly catnip to the involved.

But it was a pretty vicious teardown. And you know...funny, the look on his face.

So that's how my night turned out. Flirting followed by failure.

Oh wells.

At least I looked cute.

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