But I think I need a boyfriend.
Yes, it would be helpful to have someone to reach the tall shelves in my kitchen so I don't have to stand on a chair. And I wouldn't complain about having someone to drive my drunk ass home from bars. Sure, it would be nice if I actually had a person to make out with instead of my own hand. And batteries are expensive.
These are all valid reasons, yes. But really, I need a boyfriend for one specific purpose.
So I can force him to be my photographer for blog photo shoots.