Monday, October 8, 2012

Law of Averages

There's a guy on OKCupid who is actually decently cute. I know right? What are the odds? But this guy seems dumb. And boring. And persistent. Okay, maybe persistent isn't the right word....

Let me share.

So, I remember receiving messages from this guy when I set my profile up back in April or May. More than one. I never replied, because...well, I wasn't interested. And if I'm not, I don't. I reactivated my profile maybe a week ago, and he has messaged me four times since then.

Gems like:

"do you know howw much a polar bear weighs?"


"i have a kindergarten crush on you"

Well crafted, right? Sure to get a reply and access to what's in my pants.

I don't think this dude has any idea he's emailed me before. I think he just sits on the site all damn day, messages one liners to every single girl who tickles his...fancy. And hopes that the law of averages is on his side.

It's like the guy in the bar who uses crude pickup lines on everything in a skirt. He might get 99 slaps, but he just needs that lone girl to be like, "Yes. I will take that offer." Or it's "How I Met Your Mother", and the Naked Man. If you try and try and try, soon you'll find victory.

I will never reply, but I'm sure some day this poor fellow will get the answer he's been waiting for:

"I dunno, how much DOES a polar bear weigh?"

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