Friday, August 24, 2012

Things that piss me off at work.

This is not a comprehensive list.

  • When someone makes some sort of delicious smelling lunch. Because it makes me hungry. So rude, people.
  • Did you SERIOUSLY just put a spoon covered in peanut butter in the sink and not even rinse it off? SERIOUSLY?
  • Also, dried oatmeal. Scrub that shit yourself. I went to college.
  • Wednesday lunch is free, and decided by me, so don't come up to me and complain that you don't like it because I DON'T CARE. It's FREE.
  • Also, putting a passive-aggressive little sad face next to the name of the restaurant I'm ordering from makes me want to PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FACE.
  • When people read the sign on the door that says Social Security has moved down the street, still come in, and say, "Where is Social Security?" I SAW YOU READ THE SIGN.
  • When people come in and ask to be directed to an odd numbered address. Well, we're even, so I'm going to guess ACROSS THE STREET. GOD.
  • I totally get that my job is to file, and I'll DO it, but if you only have one piece of paper, and the filing cabinet is significantly closer to you than my desk is, don't you think it would save time to it yourself? Maybe? Or, you could IM me.
  • If you spill coffee on the counter, clean it up for the LOVE OF JESUS. IT TAKES FIVE SECONDS.
  • Also, if you spill granola, same thing.
  • Oh my god if you get honey all over the drawer handles then don't clean it up I think you should die a slow and painful death by piranha. 
  • To all sales people: if you call at the same time every morning and I always tell you that someone is not in yet, maybe you could try...calling at a different time of day? Maybe?
  • Of course, I still won't transfer you, 'cause you're obnoxious.
  • Back to the kitchen: are you fifteen? Are you completely incapable of closing drawers or cabinets after you open them? Christ.
  • Also, dirty dishes don't go on the drying rack
  • And plastic forks DON'T go in the dishwasher.
  • Your dog is barking very loudly and it makes my head hurt. 
  • Your shoes are ugly and they make my eyes hurt.
  • Your face, that shit just bugs me. 

1 comment:

  1. Ok...I just laughed myself to tears over this because (with the exception of honey on the drawer handles) every single one of these things could be applied to my office.