Do Not Call List

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I get the urge to be productive. You know, on a small scale. Productivity without effort. Or movement. Or brainpower.

You know, like purging the thousands of sales emails in my inbox. Or organizing photos. Or cleaning out my wallet. Or making lists.

Today, I succumbed to the impulse to weed out my phone contacts.

And now I'm irritated.

It was easy enough to start out. Delete all the dudes with just one name---boys from the Internet, obviously. Delete people who I worked with briefly and haven't spoken to since. Delete college acquaintances who wouldn't be on a mass text about a theoretical engagement or bun in the oven. Delete ex-boyfriends' parents. Delete sister's ex-boyfriend, BFF's ex-boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend. Delete Gingers.

But then it gets tricky. Because some of these people...I have no idea who they are.

There's one entry for a man whose name sounds VERY familiar, but I have no idea how I know him. But, I have TWO numbers for him, so clearly he was important. So he stays. But I don't know who he is. 

And then there's an 818 for a woman who shares a name with the author of a memoir I've read, set in LA. This name does not appear on my Facebook friends list. So...did I somehow end up with the number of this random writer? Is that even possible? WHO IS THIS PERSON?

I'm flummoxed.

I hate not knowing things.

I hope I never get drunk and call these people demanding, "TELL ME WHO YOU ARE."

There's no point to this post.

I guess I'm done.