Friday, September 14, 2012

Things I don't need to see on Facebook.

Some people desperately need a tutorial on acceptable Facebook etiquette. Clearly, I am an expert on the subject. I have a degree.

I mean, my GOD PEOPLE.

I do not want to see...
  • Live-updating of how many centimeters you are dilated during labor. 
  • Paragraphs describing your shift at work crisis by crisis. 
  • Closeup shots of your bloody wounds. 
  • Daily updates on the status of your nose job.
  • Thinly-veiled, passive-aggressive attacks on one of your friends.
  • Multiple self shot photos from the same angle with the same facial expression. 
  • Pictures with any sort of added hearts, stars, or text.
  • Ignorant regurgitation of conservative talking points with no basis in fact.
  • TyPiNg LiKe ThIs.
  • typn lk dis.
  • Intimate details about your sex life.
  • Intimate details about your bodily processes.
  • Detailed descriptions of what you ate today.
  • I'm sure there's more, but I'm done for now.

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