Things I don't need to see on Facebook.

Some people desperately need a tutorial on acceptable Facebook etiquette. Clearly, I am an expert on the subject. I have a degree.

I mean, my GOD PEOPLE.

I do not want to see...

• Live-updating of how many centimeters you are dilated during labor. 
• Paragraphs describing your shift at work crisis by crisis. 
• Closeup shots of your bloody wounds. 
• Daily updates on the status of your nose job.
• Thinly-veiled, passive-aggressive attacks on one of your friends.
• Multiple self shot photos from the same angle with the same facial expression. 
• Pictures with any sort of added hearts, stars, or text.
• Ignorant regurgitation of conservative talking points with no basis in fact.
• TyPiNg LiKe ThIs.
• typn lk dis.
• Intimate details about your sex life.
• Intimate details about your bodily processes.
• Detailed descriptions of what you ate today.
• I'm sure there's more, but I'm done for now.