Sometimes, I just get lonely.
There's no reason for it, or relevant correlation that I can find. I'm by myself a lot, and most of the time I'm fine with that. I come home to my cuddle-monster kitty and my little studio apartment and my comfy pajamas, and I'm perfectly content whiling away the hours with a book or movie or bad TV.
And then sometimes, I'm choked by such a terrible overwhelming loneliness that I can barely breathe without wanting to cry.
I felt that way tonight, even before I left work. I saw the night stretching out ahead of me, without plans or friends or anything to get excited about. By 6:30 I had eaten all my points for the day, and I was feeling a pull towards a binge, or some booze, or another bad decision. McDonald's was sounding mighty delicious.
But I fought it back. And I went to yoga. And I had the absolute best class I've had in ages.
Isak Dinesen said, "The cure for everything is salt water---sweat, tears or the sea."
Sometimes you just need to sweat it out. And I did. I think I'll fall asleep tonight with a smile on my face, my Tree snuggled up with me, feeling not quite so lonely.