Two Scenes From A Boat

(The second night of the cruise was formal night, and I got all done up in a new dress and a pair of heels I've only worn once before. Heels that, perhaps, are a half a size too small. Annoyed with the two long hallways that separate us from our parents one floor directly above us, my tipsy sister and my equally so self sneak down the non-carpeted, metal-edged employee stairs. 

I immediately trip and slide down the half a flight on one shin, then pop back up immediately.)

Me: I'm good!

(Run down the hall to my parents room and knock on the door to find my dad.)

Me: Things you shouldn't do! Be a criminal, drunk, use the employee stairs, and fall down. (sticks out leg and shows off bloody, already bruising shin.)

(Funny, that door was closed the rest of the trip...think someone saw me on the security cameras?)



(Almost every night...no, I'm going to go ahead and go with every night on the boat, my family of four congregated in the Champagne Bar in the Centrum of our Royal Caribbean cruise ship, the Radiance, to drink. And play cards. And drink. And gaze at the beautiful mountains passing by, and laugh, and wait for our dinner time. 99% of the time, we had the same awesome Eastern European waiter, Adam. After a few nights on the trip he warms up to us and begins to joke and laugh with us, and this is one of the last nights of the cruise. 

To set the scene, my parents and I are lounging on the couches and chairs near the bar. My sister gets up to order drinks for her and me.)

K: Can I get two extra dirty martinis, with extra olives?

Adam: Two extra dirty martinis, yes. Can I ask you a question?

K: Yes...?

Adam: Extra dirty like my mind?

(We all crack up, my mother showing mock offense and horror. Later, Adam brings out our martinis, crammed with as many olives as he can fit on a stir stick.)

Mom: I thought they asked for extra olives? 

(He goes behind the counter and lifts a giant jar of olives onto the counter.)

Adam: Just in case you need more!