Thursday, June 28, 2012

Random Thoughts from Spain

  • Reason #763 Why I Love Hot Yoga: 100+ degrees in Sevilla today as we're wandering about staring at pretty buildings and things, and I be like, "Meh. I've had hotter."
  • Also, traipsing around Europe with 50ish less pounds is MUCH more pleasurable.
  • I met my future second husband in line for the bathroom at a restaurant in Puerto Banas in Marbella. His name is Dante, he speaks three languages, is from Manchester, and was very taken with me. Would not stop paying me oodles of attention and showed off his magic tricks and clever songs. Gorgeous smile and a glorious golden tan. Of course, it was his sixth birthday. Maybe in 20 years?
  • Speaking of Puerto Banas, oh my LORD. Just along the water, lined with yachts that have to cost millions of dollars, is a strip of concrete dotted with restaurants, bars, and sparkly boutiques. As the night went on, hoardes and gaggles of painted up girls in Britney*-baring dresses stomped around in sky-high heels, desperate for the attention of any one of the aging Europeans who cruise up and down the street in Bentleys, Ferraris and Aston Martins, just to be seen. It was so thoroughly ridiculous. I loved it so much. 
  • I may have lost weight while I'm here. If this is true, it's only because I've had the worst sore throat since Day #1 and haven't enjoyed eating much. Also have avoided alcohol like a responsible adult. Finally starting to improve so I see some mojitos in my future.
  • I got some super strong Spanish ibuprofen from a farmacia, and I'm obsessed. It was so cheap I want to buy a dozen boxes and sell it on the streets. I'm not sure this is the best business plan. It also gives me insanely crazy dreams. 
  • I was able to see my ever-lovely Facebook wife in Madrid on our first night in the country, and met the fellow she's been cheating on me with. I approve of him. I told him if he wants her FB relationship status, he owes me alimony, in the form of one drink every time we hang out. Sounds fair to me.
  • I have yet to buy myself a souvenir. This is not acceptable. I want jewelry. 
  • I exchanged messages with the Ginger, so I'm hopeful that he will still exist in my world when I return. If he has not found other OKCupid sluts to bang. Ooh I'm so possessive of my not-boyfriend! (OH LOOK, SARCASM OKAY.)
  • The original plan was to stay at a timeshare in Estepona for the whole trip, except for the first and last nights. Well, this particular establishment was not exactly up to my family's (maybe too high) standards. To quote my mother, "This is the closest I will ever come to camping." So we stuck it out for four days, and left riddled with mosquito bites to stay two days in Sevilla. Where I currently am, sitting on a big fluffy white bed in the fanciest suite in the swankiest hotel I have ever stayed in, the Hotel Alfonso XIII. SO PRETTY. I love my daddy and his Starwood Platinum status. Back to Madrid tomorrow for two more nights, then home to my precious kitty!
*"Britney" is my most favorite slang for ladyparts. If I'm being honest, I like the classic "cock" for the fellows, although "schnitzel" amuses my inner five year old. (Also, my favorite slang for getting your period is "shark week" if you're curious, or alternatively, "she's shark bait.") Aren't you glad you asked?

No comments:

Post a Comment