One of society’s most truly elusive creatures, the stealth asshole is just that —- sneaky, hidden, tricksy like a fox. They’re skilled at manipulation, gifted with the ability to maintain their sweetheart facade for weeks, months, even years. Oh, but when they finally reveal their true colors, when the effort to maintain that candy coating on their personality becomes too much…watch the fuck out.
How is it that completely rational, intelligent people get taken in time and time again by these crafty charlatans? I suppose it’s human nature to trust the good in front of you, to believe with your whole heart that someone means the kind things the say. How can you look into a pair of pretty bright eyes, seemingly infused with sincerity and adoration, and see the darkness lurking behind? How can we learn to pick out of a crowd these men (or women, yes) who manage to hide their true selves just long enough to suck you in to their web, only to then smash your soul like a particularly fragile insect?
I really have no idea.
The good guys are becoming increasingly rare--either they inhabit far-off lands, or they've already been domesticated by some lucky bitch. Or, more often, the good guy turns out to be a stealth asshole in disguise.
If you encounter one of these stealth assholes, please, do the world a favor and tag them before they are released back into the wild. For all our sakes.