It is October 1st.
Another month. Another chance to start again.
And I am not happy.
It would be one thing if this was just my normal weight and I was living a lifestyle where I was nourishing my body and taking care of it and exercising and loving myself and all that good stuff. Because I don't look bad. Much?
But I am not taking care of myself. I am not nourishing. I am not loving myself. I am abusing. And this is no good.
So...I just have to DO IT. I have to make healthy choices. I have to track my food. I have to put in the effort to take care of my body, and make changes, and move forward. Otherwise this will just keep getting worse.
I'm going back to basics. But I'm not going back to overwhelming myself with insurmountable goals and challenges. I'm not going to fulfill the definition of insanity by doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Small changes. Baby steps forward.
- Go to my new psychiatrist and change up my meds cause CLEARLY SHIT AIN'T WORKING. (This happens today.)
- Clean my apartment because living in filth makes me feel even more depressed.
- Track everything I eat because when I don't I can pretend I'm not eating that much.
- Get to yoga at least once. Just once.
- Write instead of eat when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Okay, October. Be kind to me.